900 Hilarious Quotes From Letterkenny (2023)
1. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” – Squirrely Dan
2. “You’d best be preparin for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.” ― Letterkenny
3. “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and 5 minutes to ruin it.” – Peyton Manning
4. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.” ― Wayne
5. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like yer pants are doin’ it for ya. ” – Wayne
6. “You delivered, I’ll give ya that, but what type of prick doesn’t stand up to shake another man’s hand?” – Wayne
7. “Hard no!” – Wayne
8. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except kids falling off bikes, maybe. ” -Wayne
9. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” — Gail
10. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.”
11. “Sing us a song or something. Do a trick. You’re f*cking useless. ” – Wayne
12. “Do-re-mi, 19, go f*ck yourself” – Dan
13. “Got anymore of that electric lettuce? These darts aren’t doing it. ” – Shoresy
14. “I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.”
15. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” — Coach
16. “The bottom inch of a beer bottle is 50% spit.” ― Quotes of Letterkenny
17. “Well nots to be impolite but this gal suggested that maybe I should have some attentions paid to my butthole. That ever happen to you guys?”
18. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone. ” -Wayne
19. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing!” – Dan
20. “I am willing to give 69 percent of my company to a partner, why 69 percent? Both sides benefit! Good enough!” -Gail
21. “You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?” — Wayne
22. “One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people’s lives without having to pay the price. ” – Robert De Niro
23. “The stupidest thing I ever heard in my life is that a baby is smart. ” – Wayne
24. It’s just… uhhh you could let the paint dry a wee bit there, eh?” – Wayne Quotes
25. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” – Squirrelly Dan
26. “Where’s the sacrifice?” – Jonesy
27. “I thought the French Exit was when you climax on a gal and you leave without cleaning it up. ” – Daryl
28. “Texas-sized 10-4. ”
29. “When people are watching you, it makes you think twice about what you do, and the things you say, and the people you hang around with. ” – Peyton Manning
30. “S’how ’bout it, boys? You can always count on ol’ Katy cat. ” – Katy
31. I have never been less embarrassed in all my life.
32. YOU’RE PRETTY GOOD AT WRESTLING THERE, KATY, AND THAT’S WHAT I APPRECIATE ABOUT YOU
33. “Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood.”
34. COLOGNE. BUT I JUST USE SUNSCREEN, BANANA BOAT
35. YOU CAN CROSS FUCK OFF
36. “Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill. ” – Wayne
37. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” –
38. “Now, I went on the internet and researched ostriches. Firstly, ostriches can run up to seventy miles an hour. So, catching one, even a sick one, is a super tall order. ” – Wayne
39. “You’re a cup of baby carrots. ” -Wayne
40. “In the words of the genre-bending Canadian indie rock band Arcade Fire, ‘wake up. ’
41. “Seeing as this is most certainly a one-off event and not a tradition that also falls on some made-up holiday that I couldn’t give a cats queef about, I’m out. There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers.” – Wayne
42. “Mike, you best sort yourself out.”
43. THERE’S SOME BUTTFUCKERY AT PLAY HERE
44. “YOU WISH THERE WAS A PIED PIPER FOR POSSUMS, BUT THERE ISN’T, SO YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO KEEP PICKING ‘EM OFF WITH A. 22. BUCKLE UP ‘CAUSE THEY’RE FUCKIN’ UGLY…OF COURSE, THAT’S NOT TO SAY I HAVE IT ALL MY DAMN SELF. ”
45. I’LL POST IT ON MY FUCKING FACEBOOK. AND YOU GUYS WILL POST IT ON YOUR FUCKING FACEBOOK!
46. THE WORLD NEEDS LESS FACEBOOK AND MORE FACE-TO-FACE!
47. “If you stick a penny up your *ss and it comes out green, it means you’re sick. Did you know that?” – Daryl
48. “Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach. ”
49. “Buddy, you couldn’t wheel a f*cking tire down a hill. ” – Wayne
50. “WELL, THERE’S NOTHING BETTER THAN A FART. EXCEPT KIDS FALLING OFF BIKES, MAYBE. FUCK, I COULD WATCH KIDS FALL OFF BIKES ALL DAY, I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR KIDS. ”
51. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us. ” -Daryl
52. “Fuck you Jonesy! Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.”
53. “You’d trust somebody who wears sunglasses at night?”
54. “Remind your critics when they say you don’t have the expertise or experience to do something that an amateur built the ark and the experts built the titanic. ” – Peyton Manning
55. “It’s like algebra…why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go fuck yourself?” — Wayne
56. “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there. ” – Wayne
57. “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan.” — Wayne
58. “Something about that old goat just really grinds my pepper.”
59. “Our d*cks hang out, yours is like a mushroom in a cornfield. Mind your f*cking business, Alexander. ” – McMurray
60. “If you had as many bucks in your wallet as bucks mounted on your wall you’d have, well, give or take six bucks. ” -Wayne
61. “I want to give back to the community by helping people find love. ” -Wayne
62. “…What I Appreciates About You
63. “You discovered a talent, developed an ambition and recognized your passion. When you feel that, you can’t fight it — you just go with it. ” – Robert De Niro
64. PITTER-PATTER, LET’S GET AT ‘ER
65. “Don’t forget to also check out these hilarious Waterboy quotes that will remind you that you can do it” -Wayne
66. DO YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON’T WANT YOU TO KISS AND TELL, THAT’S IMPOLITE…. BUT I AM KIND OF CURIOUS
67. You're 10-Ply, Bud.
68. “You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?” – Wayne
69. “Every time I rise up, I have confidence that I’m going to make it. ” – Stephen Curry
70. “I want to give back to the community by helping people find love. ” – Wayne
71. “Your Mom just liked my Instagram post from two years ago in Puerta Vallarta.”
72. “It’s not wanting to win that makes you a winner; it’s refusing to fail. ” – Peyton Manning
73. “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em. ” – Wayne
74. “You better fix that divot ’cause Canada Gooses would fix it for you.”
75. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the [expletive] windshield. ”
76. “Because it’s too complicated – it’s like algebra: Why you gotta put numbers and letters together?” – Wayne
77. IT’S ALWAYS OK TO FART WHEN YOU’RE ALONE. ACCEPT WHEN YOU’RE IN ELEVATORS. THAT’S UNCOUTH
78. “Allegedly. ” – Dan
79. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says. ” – Coach
80. “You delivered, I’ll give ya that, but what type of prick doesn’t stand up to shake another man’s hand?” -Wayne
81. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield. ” -Wayne
82. “I’m so upset about my perennials.”
83. OH I’M STOMPING THE BRAKES, PUT THAT IDEA RIGHT THROUGH THE FUCKING WINDSHIELD
84. “You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.”
85. “Scoots. ”
86. “W’s Talk, Baby”
87. “Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?” -Wayne
88. FUCK YOU, REILLY, GO SCOOP IT OFF YOUR MOM’S FLOOR! SHE GIVES MY NIPPLES BUTTERFLY KISSES
89. SO MY DICK DIED. CAN I BURY IT IN YOU?
90. “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s?”
91. “Texas sized 10-4, good buddy.” Me n my buddy use that quote all the time.
92. “Fuck, Lemony Snicket, what A Series of Unfortunate Events you been through, you ugly fuck. ” — Jonesy
93. “Who doesn’t love fishin’ in kay-bec?”
94. “I wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud. ” – Wayne
95. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulling teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fighting dudes with treasure trails. ” – Wayne
96. “Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er. ” – Everyone
97. “Hard no. ” -Wayne
98. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like yer pants are doin’ it for ya. ” — Wayne
99. “Great fishin’ in kyu-bec!”
100. “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground. ”
101. WHAT I SAID WAS: I GOT REAL LONG EYE LASHES. WELL I’M SURPRISED NO ONE HAS EVER NOTICED THAT
102. “Jonesy your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you. ”
103. “You love that movie The Fox and the Hound so much you can’t bring yourself to kill the fox that’s been getting into the chicken coop. You don’t care if that makes you softer than a Disney matinee. ” – Squirrely Dan
104. YOU WOKE UP ON YOUR FRIEND’S LAWN THE OTHER DAY BUT YOUR FRIEND’S LAWN IS IN MICHIGAN SO, THAT’S A BIT OFF PUTTING
105. “Pitter-Patter…”
106. YOU WISH THERE WAS A PIED PIPER FOR POSSUMS. BUT THERE ISN’T, SO YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO KEEP PICKING ‘EM OFF WITH A
107. “Well that’s when you leave without saying goodbye to anyone. ” – Wayne
108. YOUR SISTER THINKS YOU SMOKE TOO MUCH WHEN YOU’RE DRINKIN’ BUT YOUR GRANDPA ALWAYS SAID “A SMOKE AND A BEER GO TOGETHER LIKE A PISS AND A FART
109. “And I suggest you let that one marinate. ” — Wayne
110. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.” – Katy
111. “I want to be out there every single snap, every single play. ” – Peyton Manning
112. “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat. ” – Katy
113. “My job is to play well offensively and help my team score points. So I feel very responsible every time we lose a game. ” – Peyton Manning
114. “If nothing else in life, I want to be true to the things I believe in, and quite simply, to what I’m all about. I know I’d better, because it seems whenever I take a false step or two I feel the consequences.” – Peyton Manning
115. “He is otherworldly! He’s got a dome like an Easter Island statue. ”
116. A Problem with Canada Gooses
117. “I’m so upset about my perennials. ” – Squirrely Dan
118. “You had a party and there was no piss around the toilet after which most certainly means your friends piss sitting down. ” – Wayne
119. DOES A DUCK WITH A BONER DRAG WEEDS?
120. “We need backup, boys. ” -Jonesy
121. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” — Squirrelly Dan
122. YEAH. OH, HEY, LOOK AT YOU, GROUND
123. “Anyone who waits for someone else to make a change automatically becomes a follower. ” – Peyton Manning
124. “As sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fighting dudes with treasure trails. ”
125. “Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er. ” – Wayne
126. “Look if you are coming, come correct. ” – Gail
127. “You woke up with your horn looking out the window but ya gotta be at work in 20 so it’s now or never. I should say.” – Wayne
128. “Jonesy your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you.”
129. “Fuck you, Reilly, go scoop it off your mom’s floor! She gives my nipples butterfly kisses. ” — Jonesy
130. “YOUR SISTER’S HOT, WAYNE! THERE I SAID IT! I SAID IT! I REGRET NOTHING! I REGRET NOTHING!”
131. “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?” -Reilly
132. “Betty-Ann, your breath’s so bad it gave me an existential crisis — it made me question my whole life. ” – Shoresy
133. “You ever hoover schneef off a sleeping cow’s spine?” “I’ve hoovered schneef off an awake cow’s teet.”
134. …I’M TOO FAT TO RUN
135. THAT WAS WELL BROUGHT UP. TOO BAD YOU WEREN’T
136. “I wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud. ” -Wayne
137. “Yeah? What’s gonna happen, Shoresy?” – Reilly
138. “Some people have this impression of me: ‘Boy, he’s always so serious on the field. Football. Football. Football. ’” – Peyton Manning
139. “Figure it out!” – Everyone
140. “You woke up on your friend’s lawn the other day but your friend’s lawn is in Michigan so, that’s a bit off-putting.”
141. “Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood. ” — Wayne
142. “I really cherish everything that basketball brings; and I think, for me, it’s been a great ride and I’m not done yet…” – Stephen Curry
143. “How are ya now” “Good ‘n’ you?”
144. “Fuck you, Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!” — Shoresy
145. “On a scale from one to America, how free are you right now?” -Katy
146. BUDDY YOU COULDN’T WHEEL A FUCKIN’ TIRE DOWN A HILL
147. “Your friend says his sleds got so much torque he can’t keep the front end down. Okay, bud, if you wanna blow smoke, go have a dart. ” – Wayne
148. “Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s *eets a good scrubbin’. ” -Wayne
149. “Being able to battle it out. No matter how you do it, you gotta hold your ground at times. Other times you’ve got to compromise. But never a compromise that you can’t live with. ” – Robert De Niro
150. And I suggest you let that one marinate.”
151. CLOSEST YOU’RE GETTIN’ TO ANY ACTION THIS WEEKEND IS GIVIN’ THE DAIRY COW’S TEETS A GOOD SCRUBBIN’
152. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids.”
153. “It’s important not to indicate. People don’t try to show their feelings, they try to hide them. ” – Robert De Niro
154. “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat. ” — Katy
155. Tell your mom to top off the cell phone she bought me so I can FaceTime her late night!”
156. Your sister’s lasagna gave everyone the scoots for weeks up in here.
157. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now. ” -Wayne
158. “Got anymore of that electric lettuce? These darts aren’t doing it.”
159. “pitter patter,” which is short for “pitter patter, let’s get at her” and is a way for him to express his impatience
160. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?” – Daryl
161. “I am willing to give 69% of my company to a partner, why 69%? Both sides benefit!. Good Enough!” – Gail
162. Your Whole World
163. “As long as everyone’s having a good time. There’s no need to be poopy pants.”
164. “This may very well call for the old Irish Goodbye. ” -Wayne
165. “Seeing as this is most certainly a one-off event and not a tradition that also falls on some made-up holiday that I couldn’t give a cats queef about, I’m out. There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers.” — Wayne
166. “This eau de toilette is enchantingly refreshing on summer days like this. ” – Daryl
167. “My dad told us up front, ‘Guys, if you want to play sports, go ahead, but it’s your decision. ’” – Peyton Manning
168. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the [expletive] windshield. ” —Katy
169. “Seeing as this is most certainly a one-off event and not a tradition that also falls on some made-up holiday that I couldn’t give a cats queef about, I’m out. There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers. ” — Wayne
170. “We’ve been working a long time for this and we want to accomplish our ultimate goal. We know what it takes. ” – Peyton Manning
171. OH, COME ON, KITTEN. I WON’T TELL ANYONE
172. “You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?”
173. “Something about that old goat just really grinds my pepper. ” – Gail
174. “Life rarely changes you totally but it consistently changes you in details. ” – Robert De Niro
175. “I would like to think I will be a guy who knows when it’s time to stop. I don’t want to be a guy who hung on and on. I do not have a goal in mind of a year or a statistic. ” – Peyton Manning
176. “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em. ” — Wayne
177. “Bad gas travels real fast in a small town.” ― Letterkenny
178. It’s like algebra… why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go [expletive] yourself?”
179. OH, C’MON, WHERE’S YOUR JAM, BUD?
180. “You two ever make me walk this far again, and we’re making babies. ” – Katy
181. YOUR DAD SAYS GUYS WITH BIG TRUCKS HAVE LITTLE DINKS. AND THAT MAKES SENSE CUZ YOU WANT A REAL BIG TRUCK AND GOT A REAL LITTLE DINK
182. “Tell your mom to top up the cell phone she bought me so I can FaceTime her late at night. ” – Shoresy
183. ‘Letterkenny’ is one of the awesome shows given by the great CANADA. The show over the past seasons has never disappointed anyone and with every season it keeps on improving.
184. YOU’RE PRETTY SWEET ON YOUR NEW GAL BUT IF SHE FORGETS TO CLOSE THE THIRD DOOR OF YOUR TRUCK BEFORE THE PASSENGER DOOR ONE MORE TIME IT’S FUCKIN’ OVER I’VE HAD IT
185. “There’s something really pervy about that word ‘taste. ’”
186. GOT ANYMORE OF THAT ELECTRIC LETTUCE? THESE DARTS AREN’T DOING IT
187. “Got anymore of that electric lettuce? These darts aren’t doing it. ” -Shoresy
188. “FUCK LEMONY SNICKET, WHAT A SERIOUS OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS YOU FUCKIN BEEN THROUGH YOU UGLY FUCK. ”
189. “ALLEGEDLY.”
190. “You’ve got to remember what your priorities are. When you’re playing, what you do on the field is the most important thing. “ – Peyton Manning
191. “…I’M TOO FAT TO RUN.”
192. “Not so bad. ” – Wayne
193. “Where’s the sacrifice?” -Jonesy
194. “If you had as many bucks in your wallet as bucks mounted on your wall you’d have, well, give or take six bucks. ”
195. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh, I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sporting now. ” – Dary
196. BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS!
197. “I wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud.” — Wayne
198. “The more years I go, the more experience I have, the more that nutrition and eating the right foods is important for recovery and things like that. ” – Stephen Curry
199. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciate about you. ” – Squirrelly Dan
200. OH YEAH? WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN, SHORESY?
201. “No, I’m not too sure what you’re driving at here big shooter. ” – Dan
202. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulling teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fighting dudes with treasure trails.”
203. “You’re not responsible for the entire job, but your part in it… You will put your everything into everything you do. ” – Robert De Niro
204. “I have never been less embarrassed in all my life.” — Coach
205. “You came to after having a bar fight. Felt like you got hit by a car, right? But your pal had your back, went on the attack, but it turned off his gal like a night light.”
206. Make Sure You Use That There Sunscreen ‘Cause It’s A Great Day For Hay
207. “…I’m too fat to run. ” — Squirrelly Dan
208. “You lose a lot of heat in the neck.”
209. WELL, I’D SAY GIVE YOUR BALLS A TUG, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR PANTS ARE DOING IT FOR YOU
210. “We need backup, boys. ” — Jonesy
211. “It’s always ok to fart when you’re alone. Accept when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth. ”
212. “YOU GUYS EVERY HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT THAT GUY FUCKING AN OSTRICH?”
213. “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat. ” -Wayne
214. “Up next in the barn, this bartender turned dog-breeder hopes Cupid will find his way to Letterkenny. ” -Bonnie
215. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” -Gail
216. “Hey! He said simmers down so simmers down! Why don’t you go eat some tartares ya snail-sucking mime lovers?!”
217. “What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots?”
218. “You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours. ” — Wayne
219. “If you smelly gamey, you ain’t gonna lay me. ”
220. “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there. ” -Wayne
221. “Because we buy pants that f*cking fit. ” – Wayne
222. “Hey! He said simmers down so simmers down! Why don’t you go eat some tartares ya snail sucking mime lovers?!”
223. Anything Shoresy Says
224. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.”
225. “The only animal in the animal kingdom that wants anything to do with Canada goose is Canada mooses.”
226. “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.”
227. “The less you say now, the less you have to apologize for later. ” -Daryl
228. YOUR SISTER’S LASAGNA GAVE EVERYONE THE SCOOTS FOR WEEKS UP IN HERE
229. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE MAJESTIC CANADIAN GOOSE, THEN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME
230. Degens
231. “I’m so upset about my perennials. ” -Squirrely Dan
232. “If I’m an ant I’m operating the seadoo with my antennae.”
233. “I wish all were not so strange in the world.”
234. “I have never been less embarrassed in all my life. ” -Coach
235. “I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation. ”
236. “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? – Jonesy
237. I THINK YOU COME IN MEN ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US
238. “You stopped toe-curling in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends. ” – Wayne
239. YOU GOT HALF YOUR FINGER CUT OFF ONE OF THREE WAYS: BIKE CHAIN, BANDSAW, PENALTY BOX DOOR
240. “Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill.” ― Wayne
241. “Letterkenny Problems Episode 1” (2013)
242. “Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill.” — Wayne
243. YOU’D BEST BE PREPARING FOR A DONNY BROOK IF YOU THINK I’M GOING TO THAT SUPER SOFT BIRTHDAY PARTY OF YOURS
244. “Hey, girl. Are you Barta Beef? Cause I’d flip you once every minute.”
245. “We need backup, boys.” — Jonesy
246. “There’s something really pervy about that word ‘taste. ’” – Wayne
247. “I’ve been a Colt for almost all of my adult life, but I guess in life, and in sports, we all know nothing lasts forever. Times change, circumstances change, and that’s the reality of playing in the NFL. ” – Peyton Manning
248. OH, GET OFF THE CROSS, WE NEED THE WOOD
249. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” -Wayne
250. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” -Squirrely Dan
251. Come off it!” – Wayne Quotes
252. “You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.” — Wayne
253. IF YOU HAD AS MANY BUCKS IN YOUR WALLET AS BUCKS MOUNTED ON YOUR WALL YOU’D HAVE, WELL, GIVE OR TAKE SIX BUCKS
254. “Life is about choices. You ask the questions and you listen to the answers. Then you listen to your heart. ” – Peyton Manning
255. “You’re softer than a Cinnabon sampler. ” -Wayne
256. “Hey! He said simmers down so simmers down! Why don’t you go eat some tartares ya snail-sucking mime lovers?!” – Dan
257. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.” — Wayne
258. “You wanna walk around town spelling like that? Ok?! I’ll spell with you any day of the week and I suggest you let that one marinate.”
259. “I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation. ” – Gail
260. “Call me a cake, ’cause I’ll go straight to your *ss, cowboy!” -Gail
261. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you. ” -Squirrelly Dan
262. “Betty-Ann, your breath’s so bad it gave me an existential crisis – it made me question my whole life. ” -Shoresy
263. “Nice onesie! Does it come in men’s?”
264. “I mean, just because my name is Reilly doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a drunken leprechaun. ” -Reilly
265. “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there. ” — Wayne
266. “And I suggest you let that one marinate. ” -Wayne
267. “I have never been less embarrassed in all my life.”
268. “A gal at the bar said she liked how your pants fit but she said it in a baby voice and really she can do that on her own time.”
269. WHEN YOU ARE BRINGING COMPLAINTS TO SOMEONE, THEY’LL BE MORE RECEPTIVE TO ALTER INTO THEIR BEHAVIOR IF YOU MAKE IT YOUR PROBLEM, RATHER THAN PLACING THE BLAMES ON THEM
270. “Closest you’re getting to any action this weekend is giving the dairy cow’s t*ts a good scrubbing. ” – Wayne
271. “Boulevard of broken dreams!”
272. “Great day for hay!”
273. YOUR FRIEND SAYS HIS SLEDS GOT SO MUCH TORQUE HE CAN’T KEEP THE FRONT END DOWN, OK BUD, IF YOU WANNA BLOW SMOKE, GO HAVE A DART
274. HERE’S A POEM. STARLIGHT, STAR BRIGHT, WHY THE FUCK YOU GOT EARRINGS ON? BET YOUR LOBES AIN’T THE ONLY THING THAT GOT A HOLE PUNCHED IN ’EM
275. “I think it’s important to have had at least a few years of obscurity, where people treat you like everybody else. ” – Robert De Niro
276. Ergonomic design
277. “If I’m an ant I’m operating the seadoo with my antennae. ”
278. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh, I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sporting now.”
279. “Ask her, on a scale from 1 to America, how free are you right now?” – Katy
280. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you. ” — Squirrelly Dan
281. YOU GOT CALLED A SHITHEAD AT GO KARTS FOR BUMPING ANOTHER DRIVER AND HAD TO FIGHT THE GUY ‘CAUSE YOU WERE ON A FIRST DATE
282. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” ― Letterkenny
283. “Fuck, lemony snicket, what a series of unfortunate events you been through, you ugly fuck.”
284. Ferda
285. “You’re pretty good at wrestling there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciate about you. ” – Squirrely Dan
286. “YOU NATURALLY CARE FOR A COMPANIONSHIP, BUT I GUESS THERE’S A LOT WORSE THINGS THAN PLAYING A LITTLE ONE MAN COUCH HOCKEY IN THE DARK. ”
287. “If you don’t fall, how are you going to know what getting up is like?” – Stephen Curry
288. “It’s a great day for sleighing.”
289. A Little Eminem
290. “Look, if you are coming, you better come correct.” – Gail
291. “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground. ” — Squirrelly Dan
292. “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan. ”
293. FUCK YOU SHORESY! PUT A SHIRT ON
294. “Pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er. ” -Wayne
295. “You’d best be preparin’ for a donnybrook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours. ”
296. “Laughter” by “David Bergin“, licensed under CC BY 2.0
297. “I’ll spell with you any day of the week and I suggest you let that one marinate.”
298. EVERY WOMAN KNOWS THAT THE WAY TO A MAN’S HEART IS NOT THROUGH HIS ZIPPER, IT’S THROUGH HIS STOMACH
299. “F*ck you Jonesy! Your mom just liked my Instagram post from two years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes. ” – Reilly
300. “You naturally care for a little companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.”
301. “I am also not one for regrets. I don’t regret any film I’ve made, because there was a reason for making it at the time. If it hasn’t worked out, then don’t spend time worrying about why and how. Just move on to the next project. ” – Robert De Niro
302. “Bad gas travels real fast in a small town.”
303. “This eau de toilette is enchantingly refreshing on summer days like this.”
304. “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.”
305. “Time to take about 20% off the meth intake, boys. ” – Wayne
306. “It’s like algebra. Why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go f*ck yourself?” – Wayne
307. “What I said was: I got real long eyelashes. Well I’m surprised no one has ever noticed that. ” – Wayne
308. “Fartbook”
309. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails. ” – Wayne
310. “Pertnear. ”
311. “Make sure you use that sunscreen ‘cause it’s a great day for hay.”
312. “Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach. ” – Wayne
313. WHAT’S UP WITH YOUR BODY HAIR, YOU BIG SHOOTS? YOU LOOK LIKE A 12-YEAR-OLD DUTCH GIRL
314. “Wish You Weren’t Awkward
315. “Jinx, you owe me a Coke. ” – Wayne
316. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?”
317. “Seeing as this is most certainly a one-off event and not a tradition that also falls on some made-up holiday that I couldn’t give a cat’s queef about, I’m out. There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers. ” – Wayne
318. YOU LOVE THAT MOVIE THE FOX AND THE HOUND SO MUCH YOU CAN’T BRING YOURSELF TO KILL THE FOX THAT’S BEEN GETTING INTO THE CHICKEN COOP. YOU DON’T CARE IF THAT MAKES YOU SOFTER THAN A DISNEY MATINEE
319. And that’s your whole world right there. ” – Wayne Quotes
320. “Who doesn’t love fishin’ in Quebec?” – Katy
321. FUCK YOU, JONESY, YOUR LIFE IS SO PATHETIC I GET A CHARITY TAX BREAK JUST BY HANGING AROUND YOU!
322. “spare parts,” an insult that refers to someone who acts disrespectfully, likening them to someone who comes from the bottom of the barrel.
323. “Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’.
324. “You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends. ” – Wayne
325. “You know not to be impolite but sometimes a gal will do some kissing on the ears. Which makes me uncomfortable because even though I clean my ears, sometimes a tater will just roll out of there unexpected.”
326. “There’s more to life than a little Hulu and you-screw, big brother. ” – Katy
327. “When you are bringing complaints to someone, they’ll be more receptive to alter into their behavior if you make it your problem, rather than placing the blame on them. ” – Wayne
328. “I’m not the guy who’s afraid of failure. I like to take risks, take the big shot and all that. ” – Stephen Curry
329. “Your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!” – Shoresy
330. YOU SEEN A ‘COON HAVIN’ SEX WITH A BARN CAT ON TOP OF YOUR TRUCK? FUCK WHAT’S THE NATURE OF THAT DAVID SUZUKI
331. SEEING AS THIS IS MOST CERTAINLY A ONE-OFF EVENT AND NOT A TRADITION THAT ALSO FALLS ON SOME MADE-UP HOLIDAY THAT I COULDN’T GIVE A CATS QUEEF ABOUT, I’M OUT. THERE’S HAPPINESS CALLING MY NAME FROM THE BOTTOM OF A BOTTLE OF PUPPERS
332. “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.” ― Squirrelly Dan
333. “You know not to be impolite but sometimes a gal will do some kissing on the ears. Which makes me uncomfortable because even though I clean my ears, sometimes a tater will just roll out of there unexpected. ” -Wayne
334. THEN I’D HAVE TO PUT MY WINE DOWN
335. “Of course, it is. “Popcorn fart, location: movie theatre. ” That’s informations I’s wants to know!” – Devon
336. “Muscles Coming Tomorrow?”, “A Fuss at the Ag Hall”
337. “Do you know what, I don’t want you to kiss and tell, that’s impolite…. but I am kind of curious. ”
338. “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em. ” -Wayne
339. “Hard no.”
340. ALL BUTTS ARE GAY, BUT NOT ALL GAYS HAVE BUTTS
341. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like yer pants are doin’ it for ya. ” -Wayne
342. “Fuck you, Shoresy, you’re a terrible fuckin ref!” – Jonesy
343. “You can cross fuck off. ” — Wayne
344. “Where’s the sacrifice?” — Jonesy
345. Your Mom just liked my Instagram post from two years ago in Puerta Vallarta.
346. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” -Squirrelly Dan
347. “I guess, to tell you the truth, I’ve never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I’ve managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. ” – Peyton Manning
348. “Your dad says guys with big trucks have little dinks. And that makes sense cuz you want a real big truck and got a real little dink.”
349. “Got anymore of that electric lettuce? These darts aren’t doing it. ”
350. Wayne: “You heard he f*cked an ostrich, right?”
351. “You wish there was a pied piper for possums but there isn’t. So you’re just gonna have to keep picking them off with a 22. Buckle up because they’re fucking ugly. Of course, that’s not to say I have it all my damn self.”
352. “You learned the two greatest thing in life, never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut. ” – Robert De Niro
353. “Folks are also saying that it was a sick ostrich. ” – Wayne
354. “Do you know what? I don’t want you to kiss and tell. That’s impolite. But I am kind of curious. ” – Wayne
355. “Pitter-patter” or “Donny Brook” will be your new slang for calling a fight.
356. “Not my forte. ” -Katy
357. FIGURE IT OUT!
358. “The stupidest thing I ever heard in my life is that a baby is smart. ” -Wayne
359. “You’re softer than a Cinnabon sampler. ” – Wayne
360. “This eau de toilette is enchantingly refreshing on summer days like this. ” -Daryl
361. “It’s almost not worth thinking about Darry. ” – Wayne
362. “People should only get hammered together, so that you never have to see how obnoxious your friends actually are.”
363. You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?”
364. “Bad gas travels real fast in a small town. ” -Wayne
365. “Do-re-mi, 19, go fuck yourself”
366. “Time goes on. So whatever you’re going to do, do it. Do it now. Don’t wait. ” – Robert De Niro
367. LOOK IF YOU ARE COMING, YOU BETTER COME CORRECT
368. NOT MY PIG, NOT MY FARM
369. Speeding Through Adult Baseball Lines
370. “You’re a cup of baby carrots, ya fucking asshole.”
371. “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the f*ck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em. ” -Wayne
372. “On a scale from one to America, how free are you right now?”
373. “Jinx, you owe me a Coke.” ― Wayne
374. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails. ” — Wayne
375. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.” ― Quotes of Letterkenny
376. “Some guys leave a place after a long time, and they’re bitter. Not me. ” – Peyton Manning
377. “You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one man couch hockey in the dark.”
378. “The world needs less Facebook and more face-to-face.” – Wayne
379. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me. ” -Wayne
380. “F*ck you, Reilly, go scoop it off your mom’s floor! She gives my nipples butterfly kisses. ” – Jonesy
381. “What I said was: I got real long eyelashes. Well, I’m surprised no one has ever noticed that.”
382. “You hear about how many fourth quarter comebacks that a guy has and I think it means a guy screwed up in the first three quarters. ” – Peyton Manning
383. “There’s more to me than just this jersey I wear. ” – Stephen Curry
384. “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan. ” – Wayne
385. “It’s always ok to fart when you’re alone. Accept when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth.”
386. “10-Ply“
387. “Basketball was mine, and that’s what’s carried me to this point. ” – Stephen Curry
388. “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?”
389. “I have never been less embarrassed in all my life. ” – Coach
390. “Agricultural halls are for agricultural music. ” -Wayne
391. WE ONLY GOT ONE SHOT AT THIS. ONE CHANCE. ONE WIN. YOU KNOW? VOMIT ON YOUR MOM’S SPAGHETTI, OR WHATEVER THAT TALKING SINGER SAYS
392. “You can do it!”: 23 Quotes that Inspires you to Believe in Yourself
393. “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the f*ck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em. ” – Wayne
394. You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.”
395. “Also known as the French Exit or Houdini. ” – Katy
396. “You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?” -Wayne
397. FUCK YOU, SHORESY, YOU’RE A TERRIBLE FUCKIN REF!
398. “Figure it out!” – Wayne
399. “Fuck you Shoresy! Put a shirt on. ” — Reilly
400. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.” — Wayne
401. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.”
402. “Oh, I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the f*cking windshield. ” -Katy
403. Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!”
404. YOU WERE A SNIPER IN THAT GAME TODAY AND… DO YOU SEE THAT SNIPER AT 3 O’CLOCK?
405. “What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl. ” – Wayne
406. “Betty-Ann, your breath’s so bad it gave me an existential crisis — it made me question my whole life. ”
407. “Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill. ” -Wayne
408. “Do-re-mi, 19, go f*ck yourself. ” -Squirrely Dan
409. “Tell your mom to top off the cell phone she bought me so I can FaceTime her late at night!”
410. “You know not to be impolite but sometimes a gal will do some kissing on the ears. Which makes me uncomfortable because even though I clean my ears, sometimes a tater will just roll out of there unexpected. ” – Wayne
411. “Wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud. ” – Wayne
412. I’M SO UPSET ABOUT MY PERENNIALS
413. “I won’t go down in history but I’ll go down on you.” – Gail
414. “You’re softer than a Cinnabon sampler. ”
415. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like your pants are doing it for you.”
416. “I won’t go down in history but I’ll go down on you.”
417. I SEE THE MUSCLE SHIRT CAME TODAY. MUSCLES COMING TOMORROW? DID YA GET A TRACKING NUMBER? OH I HOPE HE GOT A TRACKING NUMBER. THAT PACKAGE IS GOING TO BE SMALLER THAN THE ONE YOU’RE SPORTIN’ NOW
418. “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? — Jonesy
419. “All butts are gay, but not all gays have butts. ” – Jonesy
420. “What’s up with your body hair, your big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.”
421. “Look if you are coming, you better come correct. ” – Gail
422. “Oh, do you now? My wife goes to the city every few months for one of those spa days, she loves it. Picks out her masseuse on there, what do you call it, on the phone there? The Tinder? Picks out her masseuse and makes a day of it.” — Bank Manager
423. “Your sister thinks you smoke too much when you’re drinking but your grandpa always said, ‘A smoke and a beer go together like a piss and a fart. ’” – Wayne
424. “On a scale from one to America, how free are you right now?” – Katy
425. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails. ” -Wayne
426. “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground. ” -Wayne
427. “I mean, just because my name is Reilly doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a drunken leprechaun. ” – Reilly
428. “You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?”
429. YOU’RE MADE OF SPARE PARTS, AREN’T YOU, BUD?
430. “Success is born out of faith, an undying passion, and a relentless drive. ” – Stephen Curry
431. IF I WAS A DR. SEUSS BOOK, I’D BE THE FAT IN THE HAT
432. “I’ve never been afraid of big moments. I get butterflies… I get nervous and anxious, but I think those are all good signs that I’m ready for the moment. ” – Stephen Curry
433. “You seen a ‘coon havin’ sex with a barn cat on top of your truck? Fuck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki.” ― Quotes of Letterkenny
434. YOU’D BEST BE PREPARIN’ FOR A DONNY BROOK IF YOU THINK I’M GOING TO THAT SUPER SOFT BIRTHDAY PARTY OF YOURS
435. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you.” ― Letterkenny
436. “Letterkenny” is a Canadian sitcom that was developed by Jared Keeso and Jacob Tierney. Like a growing number of television productions, it was originally created as a YouTube web series in 2015.
437. “Betty-Ann, your breath’s so bad it gave me an existential crisis — it made me question my whole life.”
438. 3 THINGS: I HIT YOU, YOU HIT THE PAVEMENT AND I JERK OFF ON YOUR DRIVER’S SIDE DOOR HANDLE
439. “Look if you are coming, come correct. ” -Gail
440. “We lay off the ginger in boots now. Because the ginger in boots did not f*ck an ostrich. ” – Wayne
441. “What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl. ” — Wayne
442. HARD NO
443. “Fightin’ Dudes.”, “Ain’t No Reason to Get Excited”
444. “We need backup, boys.”
445. “You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours. ” – Wayne
446. “It’s always ok to fart when you’re alone. Accept when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth.” – Wayne
447. “The stupidest thing I ever heard in my life is that a baby is smart.” – Wayne
448. Sing us a song 0r something. Do a trick.”
449. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says. ” -Wayne
450. “You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.”
451. “I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation. ” -Gail
452. “The stupidest thing I ever heard in my life is that a baby is smart. ”
453. “You’re pretty good at wrestling there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciate about you.” – Squirrelly Dan
454. “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s?” -Jonesy
455. “We all lay off the Ginger and Boots now. Because the Ginger and Boots did not f*ck an ostrich. ” – Wayne
456. AND I SUGGEST YOU LET THAT ONE MARINATE
457. “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.” — Katy
458. “The stupidest thing I ever heard in my life is that a baby is smart.”
459. You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.”
460. “Great fishin’ in Quebec. ” – Wayne
461. YOU TOOK YOUR GAL INTO PIZZA DELIGHT FOR A NICE SUPPER AND THERE WERE TWO KIDS’ BIRTHDAY PARTIES IN THERE HUCKING FUCKING CRAYONS AROUND
462. “Your dad says guys with big trucks have little di*ks. And that makes sense cuz you want a real big truck and got a real little d**k. ” -Wayne
463. YOU’RE PRETTY GOOD AT WRESTLIN’ THERE, KATY, AND THAT’S WHAT I APPRECIATES ABOUT YOU
464. YOU STOPPED TOE CURLIN’ IN THE HOT TUB ‘CAUSE YOU HEARD SPERMS STAY ALIVE IN THERE AND YOU’VE SEEN TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES ENOUGH TIMES TO KNOW HOW THAT STORY ENDS
465. “What’s up with your body hair, your big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl. ” – Wayne
466. “It’s ’cause Canada Gooses likely had intel there was a pedophile or two on board and took matters into their own hands. As they should!”
467. “Look if you are coming, come correct. ”
468. “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan.”
469. “Tell your mom to top up the cell phone she bought me so I can FaceTime her late at night. ” -Shoresy
470. “Pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er. ” – Wayne
471. “Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’. ” — Wayne
472. “Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach.” – Wayne
473. “It’s always ok to fart when you’re alone. Accept when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth. ” – Wayne
474. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?” -Daryl
475. “Good-n-you?” – Katy
476. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!”
477. “Fuck you Jonesy! Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.” — Reilly
478. “You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.”
479. “Chirpin’”
480. Make sure you use that sunscreen ‘cause it’s a great day for hay.
481. “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?” —Reilly
482. “Success comes after you conquer your biggest obstacles and hurdles. ” – Stephen Curry
483. “Well, she’s a pretty girl. It’s just… uhhh you could let the paint dry a wee bit there, eh?”
484. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.” — Daryl
485. Jonesy: “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s?”
486. “It’s like algebra… why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go fuck yourself?”
487. ON A SCALE FROM ONE TO AMERICA, HOW FREE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
488. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. F*ck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a f*ck about your kids. ” – Wayne
489. “Your cousin said he could get a One Direction CD for your sister’s birthday party which is fine but he was a little quick to the draw there. ” – Wayne
490. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me. And I suggest you let that one marinate.”
491. “Not my pig, not my farm. ” -Wayne
492. “Chirpin” Letterkenny slang
493. “I’ve never left the field saying, ‘I could’ve done more to get ready,’ and that gives me peace of mind. ” – Peyton Manning
494. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your [expletive], cowboy!” – Gail
495. “Not my forte. ” – Katy
496. “Make sure you live in the moment and work your butt off every single day, and I hope I inspire people all around the world to just be themselves. Be humble, and be grateful for all the blessings in your life. ” – Stephen Curry
497. “You stopped toe curling in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.”
498. “The bottom inch of a beer bottle is 50% spit. ” – Wayne
499. “There’s more to life than a little Hulu and you-screw, big brother.” – Katy
500. “You seen a ‘coon havin’ sex with a barn cat on top of your truck? Fuck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki.” — Wayne
501. “Money makes your life easier. If you’re lucky to have it, you’re lucky. ” – Robert De Niro
502. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone. ” — Wayne
503. “Daryl: You guys do CrossFit? Wayne: You can cross fuck off. ”
504. “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?” – Reilly
505. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t. ”
506. “When you go through a significant injury and have a major career change, you truly do go one year at a time, and you don’t look past what’s going on now, because you are not sure what’s going to happen. Tomorrow is not promised. ” – Peyton Manning
507. “Not my pig, not my farm. ” – Wayne
508. “You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there are a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark. ” – Wayne
509. “You wanna know what? You got a problem with Canada Gooses, you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.”
510. “IT’S LIKE ALGEBRA…WHY YOU GOTTA PUT NUMBERS AND LETTERS TOGETHER? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF?”
511. YOUR SISTER’S HOT, WAYNE! THERE I SAID IT! I SAID IT! I REGRET NOTHING! I REGRET NOTHING!
512. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you. ”
513. “I loves fishin’ in Quebec. ” – Dan
514. “Oh, I got so much time for sushi. ” – Wayne
515. “What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl. ” -Wayne
516. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except kids falling off bikes, maybe.”
517. “Our daughters, Charity… and her sister Chastity… are on their gap year, once. ” — Noah Dyck
518. YOU STOPPED TOE CURLING IN THE HOT TUB ‘CAUSE YOU HEARD SPERMS STAY ALIVE IN THERE AND YOU’VE SEEN TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES ENOUGH TIMES TO KNOW HOW THAT STORY ENDS
519. “Each game is an opportunity to be on a great stage and be a witness for Christ. When I step on the floor, people should know who I represent, who I believe in. ” – Stephen Curry
520. “Get off the cross, we need the wood.”
521. “Donny Brook. ”
522. “I’m proud to be Archie’s son. Being a quarterback, I had my mentor and hero living in the same house. ” – Peyton Manning
523. “Betty-Ann, your breath’s so bad it gave me an existential crisis — it made me question my whole life.” — Shoresy
524. I WANT TO GIVE BACK TO THE COMMUNITY BY HELPING PEOPLE FIND LOVE
525. “It’s always ok to fart when you’re alone. Accept when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth. ” -Wayne
526. “The New Season Of Letterkenny Is Coming To Cravetv. So Pitter Patter, Lets Get At’er And Watch It Already. ” – Letterkenny
527. “I want to give back to the community by helping people find love.” – Wayne
528. “Success is not an accident, success is actually a choice. ” – Stephen Curry
529. “Do you mean like you take the drugs with your hand and well, then, you put ’em up your pooper?” – Wayne
530. “Put some f*cking clothes on!” – Wayne
531. “You came to after having a bar fight. Felt like you got hit by a car, right? But your pal had your back, went on the attack, but it turned off his gal like a night light. ”
532. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like your pants are doing it for you.” – Wayne
533. “We need backup, boys. ” – Jonesy
534. “Letterkenny” as one of the most creative comedies on television in terms of production. It gets better as it progresses through the seasons and will hopefully keep improving with time.
535. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.”
536. “You save the poop talk for us, and that's what I appreciate about you, Squirrely Dan.”
537. “You can cross fuck off. ” – Wayne
538. “I love to find new people. It’s not for the sake of their being new; it’s because if you find someone who perfectly fits a part, that’s such a great thing. ” – Robert De Niro
539. “I have to leave the games now if the announcer says something I don’t agree with. I’m thinking, ‘Peyton, it is not healthy to be all worked up before a game. ” – Peyton Manning
540. “There’s something really pervy about that word ‘taste.’”
541. “Oh, I got so much time for sushi. ”
542. “Because it’s too complicated – it’s like algebra: Why you gotta put numbers and letters together?” -Wayne
543. MAKE SURE YOU USE THAT SUNSCREEN ‘CAUSE IT’S A GREAT DAY FOR HAY
544. “F*ck Lemony Snicket. What a series of unfortunate events you been through, you ugly f*ck?” -Jonesy
545. “Your sister’s lasagna gave everyone the scoots for weeks up in here. ” – Gail
546. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.” — Katy
547. “Don’t you mess around with me. There’s nothing too happy about commemorating the beating and execution of third-century Roman archbishop Saint Valentine. ” – Wayne
548. “I am willing to give 69 percent of my company to a partner, why 69 percent? Both sides benefit! Good enough!” — Gail
549. Pick the right material
550. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield. ” — Katy
551. Yes Dear, Pick Up Milk On The Way Home. That’s A Texas Sized 10-4
552. “Ask her, on a scale from 1 to America, how free are you right now?” ― Quotes of Letterkenny
553. “I’m not 23 anymore. But the defensive ends and linebackers chasing me are. If I had to chose between youth and experience, I’d take experience every time. ” – Peyton Manning
554. Wish you weren't so [expletive] awkward, bud.
555. “Valentime’s Day”
556. “So, it’s Facebook, but for farts?” – Stewart
557. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t. ” — Katy
558. “Tell your mom I drained the bank account she set up for me. Top it up so I can get some fuckin’ KFC. ” – Shoresy
559. “Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’. ” – Wayne
560. “You guys do CrossFit?”
561. “I’m the best manning. ” – Peyton Manning
562. “You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.” ― Quotes of Letterkenny
563. “Legen-Dary.”
564. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says. ” -Coach
565. “I seen Samuel in the laundry room with a cat one time and you just know that little f*cker is gonna put it in the dryer. ” -Wayne
566. “I don’t like to watch my own movies – I fall asleep in my own movies. ” – Robert De Niro
567. “Got any more of that electric lettuce? These darts aren’t doing it. ” – Shoresy
568. “You seen a ‘coon havin’ sex with a barn cat on top of your truck? Fuck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki. ” – Wayne
569. “You guys going to be wearing belts?” – Katy
570. “FiggerItOut”, “Relationships”
571. “You lose a lot of heat in the neck. ” – Wayne
572. “I pray every night, sometimes long prayers about a lot of things and a lot of people, but I don’t talk about it or brag about it because that’s between God and me, and I’m no better than anybody else in God’s sight. ” – Peyton Manning
573. “Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood. ” -Wayne
574. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids. ” — Wayne
575. ” – Wayne Quotes
576. Not my forte.
577. “The only animal in the animal kingdom that wants anything to do with Canada goose is Canada mooses. ” – Wayne
578. Farting and Falling Off Bikes
579. “10-ply,” a reference to toilet paper and a way to describe someone who is extremely soft
580. “We have to have the mentality that we have to work for everything we’re going to get. ” – Stephen Curry
581. “That’s a Texas-sized 10-4. ” – Wayne
582. I WISH YOU WEREN’T SO FUCKING AWKWARD, BUD
583. “If you smelly gamey, you ain’t gonna lay me. ” -Katy
584. “Pump the brakes!”
585. “I won’t go down in history but I’ll go down on you. ” – Gail
586. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t. ” – Katy
587. “There’s nothing more ironic or contradictory than life itself.” – Robert De Niro
588. WELL THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN A GOOD FART
589. “PITTER PATTER, LET’S GET AT ‘ER. ”
590. Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.”
591. IT’S LIKE ALGEBRA…WHY YOU GOTTA PUT NUMBERS AND LETTERS TOGETHER? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF?
592. “If you stick a penny up your *ss and it comes out green, it means you’re sick. Did you know that?” -Daryl
593. “You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends. ”
594. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us. ” – Daryl
595. “You love that movie The Fox and the Hound so much you can’t bring yourself to kill the fox that’s been getting into the chicken coop. You don’t care if that makes you softer than a Disney matinee. ” – Dan
596. “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.” ― Letterkenny
597. “Where’s the sacrifice?” -Wayne
598. “How would you batch in space?” — Darly
599. “OH I’M STOMPING THE BRAKES, PUT THAT IDEA RIGHT THROUGH THE FUCKING WINDSHIELD. ”
600. “I seen Samuel in the laundry room with a cat one time and you just know that little [expletive] is gonna put it in the dryer. ”
601. “Is geostamping farts a good idea?” -Stewart
602. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.” – Katy
603. OH, I WOULDN’T SAY SHIT IF MY MOUTH WAS FULL OF IT
604. “Yes dear, pick up milk on the way home. That’s a Texas sized 10-4.”
605. “You came to after having a bar fight. Felt like you got hit by a car, right?” – Daryl
606. “You trying to sneak a sunrise past a rooster, Tanis?”
607. “YOU EVER HOOVER SCHNEEF OFF A SLEEPING COW’S SPINE?” “I’VE HOOVERED SCHNEEF OFF AN AWAKE COW’S TEET. ”
608. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your [expletive], cowboy!"
609. “I’m very humbled and I’m very honored. I certainly think about how grateful I am for all the teammates and coached that I’ve played with and played for throughout my career. ” – Peyton Manning
610. “You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a. 22. ” -Wayne
611. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us. ” – Daryl
612. “A Fuss at the Golf Course”
613. “You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours. ” -Wayne
614. “Now, I went on the internet and researched ostriches. Firstly, ostriches can run up to seventy miles an hour. So, catching one, even a sick one, is a super tall order.”
615. “Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’. ” -Wayne
616. “I wish you weren’t so f*cking awkward, bud. ” -Wayne
617. “Look if you are coming, come correct.”
618. “Fuck you, Shoresy, you’re a terrible fuckin ref!” — Jonesy
619. “There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers. ”
620. “Boulevard of broken dreams!” – Shoresy
621. “Three things: I hit you, you hit the pavement, I jerk off on your driver’s side door handle. ” – Shoresy
622. “In acting, I always try to go back to what would actually be the real situation, the real human behavior in life. ” – Robert De Niro
623. “Is geostamping farts a good idea?” – Stewart
624. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me. And I suggest you let that one marinate. ” – Wayne
625. “Pressure is something you feel when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. ” – Peyton Manning
626. “Fuck Lemony Snicket, What A Serious Of Unfortunate Events You Fuckin Been Through You Ugly Fuck. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams!” – Letterkenny
627. “Rejection might sting, but my feeling is that often, it has very little to do with you. ” – Robert De Niro
628. “H’are ya now?” – Wayne
629. “You figure it out. ” – Katy
630. “F*ck you, Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!” – Shoresy
631. WELL, THERE’S NOTHING BETTER THAN A FART. EXCEPT FOR KIDS FALLING OFF BIKES, MAYBE. FUCK, I COULD WATCH KIDS FALLING OFF BIKES ALL DAY, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR KIDS
632. “Four-leaf clover, make a wish.” – Wayne
633. “Make sure you use that sunscreen ‘cause it’s a great day for hay. ” -Gail
634. “Make sure you use that sunscreen ‘cause it’s a great day for hay. ” – Gail
635. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids. ” -Wayne
636. “The world needs less Facebook and more Face-to-Face!” -Wayne
637. “You’ll have time to rest when you’re dead. ” – Robert De Niro
638. “What’s the Irish goodbye?” – Daryl
639. “ I fuckin’ hate Quebec. ” – Daryl
640. “Don’t be afraid to do what your instincts tell you. ” – Robert De Niro
641. “Tell your mom to top off the cell phone she bought me so I can FaceTime her late night!”
642. “You lose a lot of heat in the neck. ” -Wayne
643. YOU NATURALLY CARE FOR A COMPANIONSHIP, BUT I GUESS THERE’S A LOT WORSE THINGS THAN PLAYING A LITTLE ONE-MAN COUCH HOCKEY IN THE DARK
644. YOU WANNA COME TO A SUPER SOFT BIRTHDAY PARTY?
645. “You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark. ” -Wayne
646. Look for pockets
647. “I’m too fat to run. ” -Squirrely Dan
648. “Oh, I got so much time for sushi. ” – Wayne
649. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh, I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sporting now.” – Daryl
650. “Not my pig, not my farm. ”
651. “I’m so upset about my perennials. ”
652. I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?”
653. “What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.” ― Letterkenny
654. “Fuck you Shoresy! Put a shirt on. ” – Reilly
655. “Hey, Reilly, I made an oopsy. Can you ask your mom to pick up Jonesy’s mom on the way over to my place? I double-booked them by mistake. ” -Shoresy
656. “Don’t you remember when that plane had to land on the river in New York ’cause Canada Gooses flew into the engine?”
657. “Fuck you Jonesy! Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes. ” — Reilly
658. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us. ” -Wayne
659. “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?” — Reilly
660. “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? -Wayne
661. “Your wardrobe color scheme looks like a bi-polar spell!” — Mrs. McMurray
662. “You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?” — Wayne
663. “Well, she’s a pretty girl. It’s just…uhhh you could let the paint dry a wee bit there, eh?” – Wayne
664. “You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark. ” — Wayne
665. “Hard no. ” — Wayne
666. “F*ck you, Shoresy. ” – Jonesy
667. “Pitter-patter, let’s get at her.”
668. “Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach. ” -Wayne
669. WE NEED BACKUP, BOYS
670. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now. ” — Daryl
671. “The less you say now, the less you have to apologize for later. ” – Daryl
672. “You two ever make me walk this far again, and we’re making babies. ” -Katy
673. “Schmelt. ”
674. “There’s something really pervy about that word ‘taste. ” -Wayne
675. “You’re a cup of baby carrots, ya fucking asshole. ” – Wayne
676. “You seen a ‘coon havin’ sex with a barn cat on top of your truck? Fuck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki. ” — Wayne
677. “You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.” – Wayne
678. “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground. ” -Squirrely Dan
679. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.” ― Wayne
680. “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.”
681. “…I’m too fat to run. ” – Squirrelly Dan
682. I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation
683. “Lions is lucky Canada Gooses don’t migrate to Africa. Then they’d be’s extinct.”
684. “I’d rather be a non-All-Star playing in the Western Conference finals than an All-Star who’s sitting at home in May. ” – Stephen Curry
685. “A smoke and a beer go together like a piss and a fart. ”
686. “Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood. ” – Wayne
687. If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.”
688. “Did little Natisha take your last halloween Oreo?? You didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to that delicious orange frosting?”
689. “I can get better. I haven’t reached my ceiling yet on how well I can shoot the basketball. ” – Stephen Curry
690. “You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a. 22. ” — Wayne
691. “And I suggest you let that one marinate. ” – Wayne
692. YOU WANNA WALK AROUND TOWN SPELLING LIKE THAT? OK?! I’LL SPELL WITH YOU ANY DAY OF THE WEEK AND I SUGGEST YOU LET THAT ONE MARINATE
693. “The world needs less Facebook and more Face-to-Face!”
694. I am willing to give 69 percent of my company to a partner, why 69 percent? Both sides benefit! Good enough!
695. “I loves fishin’ in kwee-bec.”
696. “You love that movie The Fox and the Hound so much you can’t bring yourself to kill the fox that’s been getting into the chicken coop. You don’t care if that makes you softer than a Disney matinee.” – Squirrely Dan
697. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids fall off bikes all day, I don’t give a shit about your kids.”
698. “You ever hoover schneef off a sleeping cow’s spine?” “I’ve hoovered schneef off an awake cow’s teet. ” — Daryl
699. “Not my pig, not my farm. ” — Wayne
700. “It’s a four-leaf clover! Make a wish!” – Daryl
701. “Your Mom just liked my Instagram post from two years ago in Puerta Vallarta. ” – Shoresy
702. “Figure it out!” — Everyone
703. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids.” ― Letterkenny
704. “Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes. ” -Reilly
705. “The hardest thing about being famous is that people are always nice to you. ” – Robert De Niro
706. “It’s like algebra… why you gotta put numbers and letters together?” – Wayne
707. “I think you come in men enough for all of us. ” -Wayne
708. “Your cousin named his cat Harry Pottery Barn which was confusing till you found out he named his bong Samwise Ganja.”
709. “Play like you’re in first. Train like you’re in second. ” – Stephen Curry
710. “Your sister’s lasagna gave everyone the scoots for weeks up in here. ” -Gail
711. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now.” ― Quotes of Letterkenny
712. “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground. ” – Squirrelly Dan
713. “Well nots to be impolite but this gal suggested that maybe I should have some attentions paid to my butthole. That ever happen to you guys?” -Squirrely Dan
714. PACK OF COYOTES COME RIGHT UP THE BACK PORCH THE OTHER NIGHT ‘CAUSE YOUR DOG’S IN HEAT AND YOU KNOW THOSE FUCKIN’ YELLOW EYED BASTARDS’LL GO RIGHT THROUGH THE SCREEN DOOR IF THEY’RE HORNY
715. “I can do all things. ” – Stephen Curry
716. “You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.” — Wayne
717. “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.”
718. “Fuck you, Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!”
719. “Fuck you, Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!” – Shoresy
720. “It goes without saying, winning against a good team in a hostile crowd on the road, it’s just an absolutely huge win. ” – Peyton Manning
721. “It’s a lot to wrap your head around,” Keeso said of the show’s success in a 2017 interview. "We’ve got some soul and some heart in there and it’s a tough show at the end of the day.”
722. Accept when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth. ” – Wayne Quotes
723. YOUR GAL HAS A COUSIN WHO’S SPUN AND SHE IS NO LONGER YOUR HUN. ‘CAUSE YOU HAD TO POP ’EM AND BOY DID YOU DROP ’EM. YEAH, YOU DID WHAT HAD TO BE DONE
724. “Bad gas travels real fast in a small town. ” – Wayne
725. FUCK YOU JONESY! YOUR MOM JUST LIKED MY INSTAGRAM POST FROM 2 YEARS AGO IN PUERTO VALLARTA. TELL HER I’LL PUT MY SWIM TRUNKS ON FOR HER ANY TIME SHE LIKES
726. “Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?” — Wayne
727. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” ― Letterkenny
728. OU CAME TO AFTER HAVING A BAR FIGHT. FELT LIKE YOU GOT HIT BY A CAR, RIGHT? BUT YOUR PAL HAD YOUR BACK, WENT ON THE ATTACK, BUT IT TURNED OFF HIS GAL LIKE A NIGHT LIGHT
729. “I can’t say enough, how important my faith is to how I play the game and who I am. ” – Stephen Curry
730. IT’S A HARD LIFE PICKING STONES AND PULIN’ TEATS, BUT AS SURE AS GOD’S GOT SANDALS, IT BEATS FIGHTIN’ DUDES WITH TREASURE TRAILS
731. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like your pants are doing it for you. ” – Wayne
732. “I mean, just because my name is Reilly doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a drunken leprechaun. ”
733. “Maybe they tranqed the ostrich. ” – Daryl
734. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you. ” -Wayne
735. “He is otherworldly! He’s got a dome like an Easter Island statue. ” -Squirrely Dan
736. “You woke up on your friend’s lawn the other day but your friend’s lawn is in Michigan so, that’s a bit off-putting. ” – Wayne
737. WELL, I’D SAY GIVE YOUR BALLS A TUG, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YER PANTS ARE DOIN’ IT FOR YA
738. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.”
739. “Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?” – Wayne
740. “Hard no. ” – Wayne
741. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me. ” – Wayne
742. “Boy, do I hate to lose. ” – Peyton Manning
743. LET’S GO EASY OVER THERE, SQUIRRELLY DAN
744. I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.
745. “Technically a French Exit is when you leave without paying the bill, but in this case that is not applicable. ” – Katy
746. “I have to leave the games now if the announcer says something I don’t agree with. I’m thinking, ‘Peyton, it is not healthy to be all worked up before a game. ’” – Peyton Manning
747. “Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er.” — Everyone
748. “Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er. ” — Everyone
749. YOU KNEW YOUR PAL HAD COME INTO MONEY WHEN HE STARTED THROWING OUT PERFECTLY GOOD PISTACHIOS LIKE HE WAS ABOVE CRACKING ‘EM OPEN WITH A BOX CUTTER LIKE THE REST OF US
750. I AM WILLING TO GIVE 69% OF MY COMPANY TO A PARTNER, WHY 69%? BOTH SIDES BENEFIT!. GOOD ENOUGH!
751. FUCK, LEMONY SNICKET, WHAT A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS YOU BEEN THROUGH, YOU UGLY FUCK
752. “Your cousin named his cat Harry Pottery barn which was confusing till you found out he named his bong Samwise Ganja. ” – Wayne
753. “Pitter patter, let’s get at’er. ” – Wayne
754. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield. ” – Katy
755. “I am willing to give 69% of my company to a partner; why 69%? Both sides benefit! Good enough!” – Gail
756. “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the [expletive] you got earrings on?”
757. “In the words of the genre-bending Canadian indie rock band Arcade Fire, ‘wake up. ’ – Wayne
758. “The bottom inch of a beer bottle is 50% spit”
759. “I want to practice to the point where it’s almost uncomfortable how fast you shoot, so that in the game things kind of slow down. ” – Stephen Curry
760. “Oh, I got so much time for sushi. ” -Wayne
761. “Something about that old goat just really grinds my pepper. ” -Gail
762. NICE ONESIE. DOES IT COME IN MEN’S?
763. “Your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!” -Shoresy
764. “No Dan. The lifestyle. ” – Katy
765. “When you are bringing complaints to someone, they’ll be more receptive to alter into their behavior if you make it your problem, rather than placing the blame on them.”
766. “Being there every week for my teammates is really important to me. It’s all about accountability. I hear stuff about the ‘toughest quarterback in the league’ and all that; what’s that mean?” – Peyton Manning
767. “You came to after having a bar fight. Felt like you got hit by a car, right? But your pal had your back, went on the attack, but it turned off his gal like a night light. ” – Daryl
768. “Your dad says guys with big trucks have little dinks. And that makes sense cuz you want a real big truck and got a real little dink. ” – Wayne
769. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me. And I suggest you let that one marinate.” — Wayne
770. “Pitter patter, let's get at 'er. ”
771. “When you are bringing complaints to someone, they’ll be more receptive to alter into their behavior if you make it your problem, rather than placing the blame on them.” – Wayne
772. OUR GREAT UNCLE FARTED WHEN HE GOT UP FROM THE PICNIC TABLE WHICH WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO PRETTY FUCKIN INCONSIDERATE AT HIS OWN CHILLI PICNIC
773. “We need backup, boys. ” -Wayne
774. If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.”
775. I WON’T GO DOWN IN HISTORY BUT I’LL GO DOWN ON YOU
776. TIME TO TAKE ABOUT 20% OFF THE METH INTAKE, BOYS
777. “Being a superstar means you’ve reached your potential, and I don’t think I’ve reached my potential as a basketball player and as a leader yet. ” – Stephen Curry
778. “Hey, Reilly, I made an oopsy. Can you ask your mom to pick up Jonesy’s mom on the way over to my place? I double-booked them by mistake. ” – Shoresy
779. “Like they roofied the ostrich?” – Dan
780. Check for ventilation
781. CALL ME A CAKE, ‘CAUSE I’LL GO STRAIGHT TO YOUR ASS, COWBOY!
782. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart.” – Wayne
783. “You’re a cup of baby carrots, ya fucking asshole. ” -Wayne
784. “You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.”
785. Daryl: “It’s a four-leaf clover, make a wish. ”
786. “Legen-Dary. ”
787. “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan. ” — Wayne
788. “He is otherworldly! He’s got a dome like an Easter Island statue. ” – Dan
789. “Nice onesie! Does it come in men’s?” – Reilly
790. “It’s like algebra…why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go fuck yourself?” -Wayne
791. “Here’s a poem. Star light, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.” — Wayne
792. “You’d best be preparin’ for a donnybrook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours. ” – Wayne
793. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.” ― Letterkenny
794. “I wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud.” ― Letterkenny
795. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says. ” — Coach
796. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids.” — Wayne
797. “What a series of unfortunate events you have been through.” – Jonesy
798. “Three things: I hit you, you hit the pavement and I jerk off on your driver’s side door handle.”
799. “Boys, listen... I'm as progressive as the next guy! I get it! It's 2013, I watch Ellen." — Bank Manager
800. “Time to take about 20% off the meth intake, boys.”
801. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says. ”
802. “The bottom inch of a beer bottle is 50% spit. ” -Wayne
803. “Pitter patter, let’s get at’er.” – Letterkenny Slangs
804. “Something about that old goat just really grinds my pepper. ”
805. “F*ck Lemony Snicket. What a series of unfortunate events you been through, you ugly f*ck?” – Jonesy
806. “You lose a lot of heat in the neck. ”
807. “My dad was a class person on and off the field. That’s the person I want to be. ” – Peyton Manning
808. THERE’S A GAL IN THE NEXT TOWNSHIP WHO GOT THE STINKER REMOVED FROM A SKUNK AND SHE KEEPS IT AS A PET SO THAT’S PRETTY MUCH PAR FOR THE COURSE THERE, EH
809. “I don’t feel pressure. I like if anybody has interest in what I have to say, especially if they’re younger. If they like me, respect me, I’m honoured and I’ll give them my opinion. ” – Robert De Niro
810. Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.
811. “If it’s the right chair, it doesn’t take too long to get comfortable in it. ” – Robert De Niro
812. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us. ”
813. “Snipe“
814. “The world needs less Facebook and more Face-to-Face!” – Wayne
815. “You’re a cup of baby carrots.”
816. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me. ” — Wayne
817. YOU EVER HOOVER SCHNEEF OFF A SLEEPING COW’S SPINE?” “I’VE HOOVERED SCHNEEF OFF AN AWAKE COW’S TEET
818. “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.” — Wayne
819. “A smoke and a beer go together like a piss and a fart.”
820. “A gal at the bar said she liked how your pants fit but she said it in a baby voice and really she can do that on her own time. ”
821. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” – Gail
822. “If you work hard and you play well, all those critics quiet themselves pretty quickly. ” – Peyton Manning
823. “I wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud. ” — Wayne
824. And that makes sense cuz you want a real big truck and got a real little dink. ” – Wayne Quotes
825. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” ― Quotes of Letterkenny
826. “NO, THE GINGER FUCKED AND OSTRICH.”
827. “Fuck you, Reilly, go scoop it off your mom’s floor! She gives my nipples butterfly kisses. ” – Jonesy
828. “Oh, I wouldn’t say sh*t if my mouth was full of it. ” – Shoresy
829. “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan. ” -Wayne
830. “If you smelly gamey, you ain’t gonna lay me. ” – Katy
831. THE ONLY ANIMAL IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM THAT WANTS ANYTHING TO DO WITH CANADA GOOSES… IS CANADA MOOSES
832. “I don’t get into these long-winded heavy discussions about character – do we do this or that or what. At the end of the day, what you gotta do is just go out there and do it. ” – Robert De Niro
833. “Why don’t you guys wear belts?” – Dan
834. “This eau de toilette is enchantingly refreshing on summer days like this. ”
835. “You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.”
836. “Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill. ” — Wayne
837. “You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends. ” — Wayne
838. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you. ” -Squirrely Dan
839. “All butts are gay, but not all gays have butts.”
840. “My faith doesn’t make me perfect, it makes me forgiven. ” – Peyton Manning
841. “Pertnear” is a slang that hasn’t caught the viewer’s attention. However, we want to mention this slang in the list of Letterkenny for contextual preference. Pertnear is a shortcut for “pretty near.”
842. “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat. ” -Katy
843. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.” ― Wayne
844. “I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.” – Gail
845. “Be the best version of yourself in anything that you do. You don’t have to live anybody else’s story. ” – Stephen Curry
846. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the f*cking windshield. ” – Katy
847. YOU SEEN A ‘COON HAVING SEX WITH A BARN CAT ON TOP OF YOUR TRUCK? FUCK WHAT’S THE NATURE OF THAT DAVID SUZUKI
848. “A smoke and a beer go together like a piss and a fart. ” -Wayne
849. ”Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except kids falling off bikes, maybe. ”
850. “You love that movie The Fox and the Hound so much you can’t bring yourself to kill the fox that’s been getting into the chicken coop. You don’t care if that makes you softer than a Disney matinee. ”
851. “You wish there was a pied piper for possums but there isn’t. So you’re just gonna have to keep picking them off with a 22. Buckle up because they’re f*cking ugly. Of course, that’s not to say I have it all my damn self. ” – Wayne
852. “Jinx, you owe me a Coke. ” -Wayne
853. “Eyes on your own work there, Super Chief!”
854. “The bottom inch of a beer bottle is 50% spit” – Wayne
855. “You’re softer than a Cinnabon sampler.”
856. “If you had as many bucks in your wallet as bucks mounted on your wall you’d have, well, give or take six bucks”
857. “I’ll post it on my f*cking Facebook. And you guys will post it on your f*cking Facebook!” – Stewart
858. “It’s like algebra, why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go fuck yourself?” ― Wayne
859. “Penny for your thoughts?” – Gail
860. “So my dick died. Can I bury it in you?” – Daryl
861. “You’re a cup of baby carrots. ”
862. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except kids falling off bikes, maybe. ” – Wayne
863. “Your great uncle farted when he got up from the picnic table which was funny but also pretty f*cking inconsiderate at his own chili picnic. ” – Wayne
864. TIM’S, MCDONALD’S, AND THE BEER STORE ARE ALL CLOSED ON CHRISTMAS DAY. AND THAT’S YOUR WHOLE WORLD RIGHT THERE
865. “Not my pig, not my farm.”
866. “You came to after having a bar fight. Felt like you got hit by a car, right? But your pal had your back, went on the attack, but it turned off his gal like a night light. ” -Daryl
867. “You got half your finger cut off one of three ways: bike chain, bandsaw, penalty box door. ” – Wayne
868. “You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?” – Wayne
869. “Oh, I got so much time for sushi.”
870. “It’s a four-leaf clover, make a wish.” Wayne: Wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud.”
871. “You know not to be impolite but sometimes a gal will do some kissing on the ears. Which makes me uncomfortable because even though I clean my ears, sometimes a tater will just roll out of there unexpected. ”
872. “You’re a cup of baby carrots. ” – Wayne
873. “They don’t make pennies anymore. Did you know that?” – Marie-Frédérique
874. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your *ss, cowboy!” – Gail
875. WHERE’S THE SACRIFICE?
876. “I didn’t have a problem with rejection, because when you go into an audition, you’re rejected already. There are hundreds of other actors. You’re behind the eight ball when you go in there. ” – Robert De Niro
877. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us. ” — Daryl
878. “You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl. ” – Wayne
879. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t. ” -Katy
880. Size matters
881. “Because it’s too complicated – it’s like algebra: Why you gotta put numbers and letters together?”
882. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone. ”
883. “Pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er.”
884. “This may very well call for the old Irish Goodbye. ” – Wayne
885. “The head coach tells us what to do, and we follow his orders. ” – Peyton Manning
886. “The talent is in the choices. ” – Robert De Niro
887. “Your cousin said he could get a One Direction CD for your sister’s birthday party, which is fine, but he was a little quick to the draw there.”
888. “You seen a ‘coon havin’ s*x with a barn cat on top of your truck? F*ck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki. ” -Wayne
889. “Buddy you couldn’t wheel a f*ckin’ tire down a hill. ” -Wayne
890. “Yeah, I heard they f*cked two ostriches. ” – Reilly
891. “What’s up with your body hair, your big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.” – Wayne
892. “Imitation is obviously a great form of flattery. ” – Peyton Manning
893. I'd say give your [expletive] a tug, but it looks like your pants are doing that for you.”
894. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.” ― Quotes of Letterkenny
895. “I don’t want to retire. I still want to play. ” – Peyton Manning
896. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone. ” – Wayne
897. YOU’RE A CUP OF BABY CARROTS, YA FUCKING ASSHOLE
898. YOU GUYS DO CROSSFIT?
899. “You ever hoover schneef off a sleeping cow’s spine? I’ve hoovered schneef off an awake cow’s teet.” ― Letterkenny
900. “I’ve been a Colt for almost all of my adult life, but I guess in life, and in sports, we all know nothing lasts forever. Times change, circumstances change, and that’s the reality of playing in the NFL. ” – Peyton Manning
Recent Posts
See All1. “Ah, if in this world there were no such thing as cherry blossoms, perhaps then in springtime our hearts would be at peace. ” —...
1. “Impossible” is not a word! 2. “I’ve never heard anyone profess indifference to a boat race. Why should you row a boat race? Why...
1. “Judgment is self-abandonment.” 2. “The only thing that was every wrong with me was my belief that there was something wrong with me.”...
Commentaires