900 Funny Motivational Tuesday Quotes For Your Morning (2023)

1. “Tuesday isn’t so bad…It’s a sign that I’ve somehow survived Monday.” – Unknown

2. “It's only Tuesday? Monday took so long that I thought it was Wednesday!”- Unknown

3. The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.

4. There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

5. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

6. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? – Steven Wright

7. Good Morning Tuesday! Wishing you a blooming great day! - Unknown

8. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

9. I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly.

10. You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys.

11. The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does. Proverb

12. I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill

13. “Have a beautiful Tuesday. All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.” – Bryan Katie

14. “Your best days are not behind you. They’re in front of you.” – Joel Osteen

15. “A fresh start, a clean slate, and a lot of potential for great things to come. That is what Tuesdays really are.”- Unknown

16. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

17. Mabel E. Bailey, Keep Your Grit

18. Life is the movie you see through your own eyes. It makes little difference what's happening out there. It's how you take it that counts. Denis Waitley

19. “I didn’t give you the finger, you earned it.” – BIll Murray

20. I had plastic surgery last week – I cut up my credit cards.

21. “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” —Arthur Ashe

22. Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.

23. Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

24. Words of Encouragement for Men

25. “A waist is a terrible thing to mind.” – Karen Scalf Linamen

26. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

27. Why hoard your troubles? They have no market value, so just throw them away. Ann Schade

28. I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

29. “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” – John Wooden

30. The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.

31. I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

32. You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.

33. Dear Tuesday, Nobody likes you. You're just Monday's ugly cousin. - Unknown

34. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. Phyllis Diller

35. I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.

36. Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? RAJ Phillips

37. “Good morning Tuesday! Please enter and pour out that shower of blessings into our lives, renew our spirits, our strength, our faith and our hope.” – Anonymous

38. “Tuesday always lasts longer than we would want to. On one side, it is a day dedicated to work and productivity, and on the other side, it is too far from the weekend for us to feel even a tiny glimpse of hope about the possibility of having something exciting happen.” - Unknown

39. “We never know what a week from next Tuesday is going to hold. It may be an ordinary day filled with quite regular activities and demands. Most of the time that is exactly what a week from next Tuesday will hold.” — Matthew Rich

40. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.

41. “One small, positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.” – Dalai Lama

42. You can practice shooting 8 hours a day, but if your technique is wrong, then all you become is very good at shooting the wrong way. Michael Jordan

43. “Each day of the week is special in its own way and brings us a different set of challenges. Among them, Tuesday seems like the poorer relative, but in fact, it is one of the days when most things are accomplished and when many things are ticked off the list.”- Unknown

44. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.

45. “The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” – Confucius

46. “What are you planting in your mind this Tuesday - results or weeds?” - Unknown

47. “Happy Tuesday! Having even one, small positive thought can change the rest of your day for the better.” – Anonymous

48. For a politician to complain about the press is like a ship's captain complaining about the sea. Enoch Powell

49. Make a little error, and give up in dismay.

50. “Rid yourself of negativity and have a positively Happy Tuesday.” – Unknown

51. “Tuesday is one of my favorite days; it is the day offered to community service to recognize and meet the needs of others who are unable to do so.” — Byron Pulsifer

52. “Live every day like it's Taco Tuesday.”- Unknown

53. “In college, you had to worry about that math class or this exam that’s coming up on Tuesday, but not in the professionals. You eat, sleep, and do everything related to your craft – and your craft is football. You can be at it from sunup to sundown.” – Cam Newton

54. If your capacity to acquire has outstripped your capacity to enjoy, you are on the way to the scrap-heap. Glen Buck

55. When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you’re rich. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.

56. “All Tuesdays lead to tacos.”

57. But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

58. True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

59. “How would your Tuesday be different if you conducted yourself with complete love and consideration?” - Unknown

60. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

61. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

62. The road to success is always under construction.

63. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” – Groucho Marx

64. “It’s only Tuesday? Monday took so long that I thought it was Wednesday.” – Unknown

65. All men are equal before fish.

66. “A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.” – Milton Berle

67. “You will never plough a field if you only turn it over in your mind.” – Irish Proverb

68. “Sometimes Tuesday feels like you will never get to be where you want to be, but don't give up. Small actions every day do make a difference!” - Unknown

69. It's always too early to quit. Norman Vincent Peale

70. “Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.” – Stephen King

71. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

72. “It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” — Muhammad Ali

73. Without the will or desire to achieve one is like flotsam on the oceans of time. Steven Redhead

74. According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man’s best friend is his dog.

75. “Tuesdays are really just Mondays dressed in their Sunday best.” - Unknown

76. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

77. You need to be comfortable with you. Stop worrying about the couple in the corner who may or may not be looking at you funny. Willow Cross, Getting Over It

78. “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.” – Charles de Gaulle

79. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

80. “If you never give up, you’ll be successful.” – Dan O’Brien

81. “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” – Karen Kaiser Clark

82. “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas A. Edison

83. “Tuesday is my second favorite day of the week to put off everything until later in the week.” – Unknown

84. “Let the improvement of yourself keep you so busy that you have no time to criticize others.” – Roy T. Bennett

85. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston S. Churchill

86. “Tuesday’s victory was big. But it did nothing more than level the playing field and give you a shot. Take it.” ― Charles Krauthammer

87. If at first you don’t succeed, quit. When life gives you lemons, quit. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit.

88. “I am not a woman on Monday, an immigrant on Tuesday, a worker on Wednesday, and a mom on Thursday, I am all of those things all of the time, and I am going to fight for all of those things all of the time.” – Pramila Jayapal

89. “Three positive facts are obvious on Tuesday: Tomorrow allows me another day to demonstrate my worthiness to my employer; it is yet another day to influence those around me with encouragement to handle their own trials; and, it is my day to celebrate each small victory of yesterday.” – Byron Pulsifer

90. It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!

91. Your best days are not behind you. They’re in front of you. - Joel Osteen

92. “Tuesday isn’t so bad. It’s a sign that I’ve somehow survived Monday.” – Unknown

93. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.

94. When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.

95. “The world is changed by your example. Not by your opinion.” – Paulo Coelho

96. “All progress takes place outside the comfort zone.” – Michael John Bobak

97. “I challenge you to let every day be a Friday. Give yourself permission to be happy every day.” – Joel Osteen

98. I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.

99. Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.

100. “This Tuesday think about the books you are reading, the TV you are watching, the music you are listening to and ask yourself the question "is it positive"?”- Unknown

101. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

102. “Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

103. can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

104. “There will be obstacles. There will be doubters. There will be mistakes. But with hard work, there are no limits.” —Michael Phelps

105. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron?

106. “These drapes are awful. One of us will have to go.” – Oscar Wilde

107. I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.

108. “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx

109. The shortest recorded period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain. Jane Bryant Quinn

110. “It’s coffee and I need some Tuesday. Please excuse my incoherence, it’s still early.” – Unknown

111. Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

112. “For some people, showing up at a bridal salon without a ring or a groom might appear bizarre and quite unusual–but for me, it’s a regular Tuesday afternoon.” – Tinsely Mortimer

113. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. Laurence J. Peter

114. A camel is a horse designed by a committee.

115. “Have a beautiful day! Take time to enjoy the wonder and beauty of each moment. Happy Tuesday!” – Unknown

116. “Happy Tuesday! Don’t forget to be kind to yourself.” – Anonymous130. “Have you ever noticed how positive people are happy people and negative people are miserable?” – Riley Stevens

117. I don't want problems solved for me. I want the fishing rod, not the fish. Yanni

118. “People call it Valentine’s Day, I call it Tuesday.” ― Lil Wayne

119. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

120. “Tuesday’s coming, did you bring your coat?” ― Don Hertzfeldt

121. “As long as you’re moving forward whether it be one step or ten feet man, you got to keep going.” – Josh Barnett

122. Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.

123. “Tuesday had always been our day together. Most of my courses with Morrie were on Tuesdays, he had office hours on Tuesdays, and when I wrote my senior thesis. It was on Tuesdays that we sat together. We’re Tuesday people.” —Mitch Albom

124. Political correctness is tyranny with manners.

125. Can I give you a handful of laughter, a smidgen of giggles to boot, a cupful of tease and a comical sneeze, followed by a hilarious hoot. John McLeod, A Handful of Laughter

126. The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

127. I consent to receiving emails and personalized ads.

128. Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit.

129. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.” — Anton Chekhov

130. “Don’t wish it were easier. Wish you were better.” – Jim Rohn

131. “Love means having to say you’re sorry every fifteen minutes.” – John Lennon

132. The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.

133. Oscar Wilde joke "Work is the curse of the drinking classes"

134. What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.

135. “Tuesday is a good day, you survived Monday. And tomorrow is Wednesday, halfway through your work week!” - Kate Summers

136. “Now the world had narrowed down to this: Tuesday hated Cecelia and Cecelia hated it back.” ― K.A. Reynolds

137. Never have more children than you have car windows.

138. winter in the shade. Charles Dickens

139. People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. Zig Ziglar

140. The only time I feel light-hearted is when I'm in a plane at 33,000 feet. Robert Rivers

141. “If things go wrong this Tuesday, look for the good. Keep your attitude positive no matter what happens this day!” - Unknown

142. The truth hurts, and so would you if you were stretched as much.

143. You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn;t that long ago we were swept away by the Macarena.

144. I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.

145. It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up. - Babe Ruth

146. Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip. Richard Steele

147. Humor helps build connections and relationships in ways that few other social interactions can. Gregory Peart, You Can Be Funny and Make People Laugh

148. “Tuesday is the most sensible day of the week.”- Emily P. Freeman

149. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.” - Anton Chekhov

150. “Once Monday is gone, we can give up on the self-loathing thoughts and start being joyful about life and work again. We hold in our hands the power to go through every Tuesday as if it would be the happiest day of the week, just by remembering to do little things that give us pleasure and comfort.” - Unknown

151. My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.

152. “Tuesday is neither here nor there in the hierarchy of the week.” — Anthony T. Hincks

153. “A good day starts with a fresh mind, where the memories of yesterday no longer have power. The key to a happy Tuesday is forgetting about the broken images of Monday and focusing on a new beginning. Tuesday is, in some ways, a bright and promising day.”- Unknown

154. Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. George Burns

155. Interest without activity is similar to having a vehicle that is out of gas - it won't take you anyplace. Eimantas Gabalis, How To Get Smarter

156. If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself. Irish Proverbs

157. “The question I ask myself like almost every day is, ‘Am I doing the most important thing I could be doing?’” – Mark Zuckerberg

158. Mark Twain joke "The reports of my demise were greatly exaggerated"

159. “In my time, we didn’t know songs could last. All we ever thought of was next Tuesday. You never imagined a future.” – Donovan

160. “You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count.” – A. A. Milne

161. We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. George Bernard Shaw

162. Related: 31 Best Disney Squishmallows Perfect to Snuggle With During Your Next Movie Marathon

163. Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.

164. A business like an automobile, has to be driven, in order to get results. BC Forbes

165. “I am too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated.” – Unknown

166. “Monday is difficult and bleak, but the best thing about Monday is that it eventually ends, making room for the friendlier Tuesday. Each Tuesday is the same, a day when, after forgetting about the misery of Monday, we start to count the days until the weekend.” - Unknown

167. Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed. Gandhi

168. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

169. Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. Richard Bach

170. How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years gotten enough to eat and escaped being eaten? Logan Pearsall Smith

171. If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then,

172. “Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. That’s cleaning day.” – Jim Miller

173. The truth hurts, and so would you if you were stretched as much. Author Unknown

174. They are ill discoverers that think there is no land when they see nothing but sea. Francis Bacon

175. Build on what makes you different from your competition. . . You need to be the red tree in the forest. Nick Maley, The Do or Do Not Outlook

176. We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

177. If you come to a fork in the road take it

178. “I hadn’t worked for a year when I had my Prison Break audition and it was the easiest audition I’ve ever had. I got the script on Friday, went to the audition on Monday and got the part on Tuesday. I was shooting the pilot a week later. I didn’t have time to be nervous – it happened so quickly.” – Wentworth Miller

179. I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife)… but still my own.

180. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” – Homer Simpson

181. Without enthusiasm, your sales talk is about as dead as last year's turkey. Dale Carnegie

182. “Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – Saint Francis

183. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

184. “We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” —Marie Curie

185. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

186. In every dream journey there comes a moment when you have to quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Mark Batterson, Chase the Lion

187. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

188. “The only thing that can transform a regular day into a happy day is surrounding ourselves with positive people and things, which allows us to see the brighter side of life and to find there the wonder and excitement that we deserve.” - Unknown

189. “Happy Tuesday! Decide what you want. Believe you can have it. Believe you deserve it and believe it’s possible for you.” – Jack Canfield

190. The truth can be funny but it's not funny to cover up the truth. Ryan Cooper, Difficult People

191. “When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.” – Lolly Daskal

192. “Monday always passes and there will always be a Tuesday with a beautiful blue sky with few clouds.” – Anonymous

193. “Tuesday is neither here nor there in the hierarchy of the week.” - Anthony T. Hincks

194. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.

195. “Hold onto positive things that elevate your spirit and be with positive people. Happy Tuesday.” – Tracey Edmonds

196. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

197. I told you to go to Cox’s and buy a searsucker suit, but it looks like you went to Sears instead.

198. “Next Tuesday has become that milestone in time where all plans, dreams, and goals go to die. Whenever we feel incapable of doing the things we want to do, we put them off, thinking that it is not the right moment. If right now is not the right moment, then next Tuesday it will surely not be.”- Unknown

199. I wouldn’t camp out for five days if was… camping.

200. “The Way Get Started Is To Quit Talking And Begin Doing.”– Walt Disney

201. You want to be a millionaire. But your values system says you believe in sleep more than grinding! Eric Thomas

202. A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright. Lucille Ball

203. Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

204. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

205. “It is a common occurrence to see people complain about Monday, but recently, many have started to complain about Tuesday too. While we can see Tuesday as the new Monday, it is more beneficial for our well-being to start transforming each new day into a wealth of new possibilities and chances.”- Unknown

206. “It’s only Tuesday and I am already 95% done with this week.”- Unknown

207. “You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” – James Allen

208. Tuesday is the day I actually start the week, Monday I just deal with the depression of the weekend ending. - Unknown

209. “The more we learn, the more we discover how much we do not know.” – Yoda

210. Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.

211. “It’s Terrific Tuesday. Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings!”- Unknown

212. I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody. George Burns (at 100 years)

213. “I’m not the kind of actor that would know what my character had for breakfast last Tuesday.” – Liam Neeson

214. “Today is not just Tuesday, it is Transformation Tuesday. That means that success does not just come to you, you have to go out and get it. So what are you waiting for?”- Unknown

215. “When we don’t like our jobs or our lives, Mondays and Tuesdays feel similar. They are days of misery and complaints. However, if we respect our lives and our time, we need to start thinking differently about Mondays and Tuesdays.”- Unknown

216. When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

217. Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

218. “I think Super Tuesday is the most important day of this entire primary election. It is the most delegates awarded in a single night will be awarded on Super Tuesday.” ― Ted Cruz

219. “I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact.” – Elon Musk

220. “I don’t want it good. I want it Tuesday.” – Jack L. Warner

221. “I am having Monday feelings towards Tuesday.”- Unknown

222. It's coffee and I need some Tuesday. Please excuse my incoherence, it's still early. - Unknown

223. Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours. Frank Moore Colby

224. “For some people, showing up at a bridal salon without a ring or a groom might appear bizarre and quite unusual--but for me, it's a regular Tuesday afternoon.” - Tinsely Mortimer

225. You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys. Joel Osteen

226. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

227. “There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” – Beverly Sills

228. “Most people feel that Tuesday is just a repetition of Monday, which makes it equally depressing. However, Tuesday is more than that because it teaches us how, after a weekend of fun and a day of dreariness, we are finally free to do meaningful things.” - Unknown

229. “Never, never, never give up.” – Winston Churchill

230. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

231. Spring is the time of year when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade. Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

232. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

233. “How is your smile this Tuesday?”- Unknown

234. “Every day brings challenges, so on this Tuesday walk around them!” - Unknown

235. “Tuesday is a day to remember that you are responsible and accountable for each word you speak so make each expression one to be celebrated not castigated.” — Byron Pulsifer

236. To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.

237. Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

238. “Happy Tuesday! You got to admit, at least it sounds better than happy Monday.” – Unknown

239. We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

240. “In life, you have got to make the best of every situation; you have to keep going.” – John Daly

241. “Tuesday. Worry less. Live more.” – Unknown

242. “Happy Tuesday! Having even one, small positive thought can change the rest of your day for the better.” – Unknown

243. One fails forward toward success." Charles Kettering

244. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

245. “Is there something you would like to see changed this Tuesday? Are you talking about it or are you setting the example to change it?”- Unknown

246. “Judging by my degradation in the last 24 hours, I’ll be surprised if I make it to Tuesday.” – Aron Ralston

247. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. A. Milne

248. Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

249. Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.

250. “There was a time when people didn’t go out of their house on Tuesday night at eight o’clock because Milton Berle was on.” – Ed McMahon

251. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

252. Each child is as different as you and I. Therefore, I believe there isn’t a one-method-fits-all strategy, no matter how appealing that idea might sound (sorry Gina Ford). Giovanna Fletcher, Happy Mum, Happy Baby

253. A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

254. No one has ever become poor by giving. Anne Frank

255. One of the most successful ways companies get the consumer's attention is by presenting the product in a funny or emotional way. Arlene Battishill, Retail Shock Therapy

256. Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

257. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

258. doing and then resolve to stop doing it. Charlie Brooker

259. “Today will be a good Tuesday and this morning is going to be an awesome one!” – Unknown

260. . . . I ask people if an elephant has ever bitten them. Most of the time people say no. But everyone has been bitten by a mosquito. It's the little things that get us. David DeNotaris

261. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

262. “I’d take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I’d take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day unless it’s Tuesday.” — Will Advise

263. “Tuesday is Monday’s ugly sister.” – Unknown

264. “Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. That’s cleaning day.” - Jim Miller

265. “May God bless you this Tuesday and all the days after!” - Unknown

266. The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them." Abraham Lincoln

267. “I’d take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I’d take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day unless it’s Tuesday.”- Will Advise

268. Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV. Thomas Sowell

269. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

270. Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you. Jim Rohn

271. “Have a beautiful Tuesday! Your mantra is: ‘All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.’”- Bryan Katie

272. “What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.” – Pearl S. Bailey

273. I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

274. I challenge you to let every day be a Friday. Give yourself permission to be happy every day.” – Joel Osteen

Twitter / @InspireNowDaily

“I challenge you to let every day be a Friday. Give yourself permission to be happy every day.” – Joel Osteen

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If we make the mistake of being negative, discouraged, grumpy, or sour, we’ve wasted the day." - Joel Osteen

275. I am not an advocate of pity parties. They allow you to wallow in misery and drag yourself even further into the depths of woe. But sometimes having a good cry is like changing the oil in your car. You got 3000 miles out of that batch, now you have 3000 miles to go before another. Sandra Bullock Smith, Trading Places

276. “Happy Tuesday! You got to admit, at least it sounds better than happy Monday.” – Anonymous

277. “After Tuesday, even the calendar goes W - T - F.”- Unknown

278. “Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.” – Yogi Berra

279. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.” – Anton Chekhov

280. “A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.” – H. L. Mencken

281. “Instead of traveling on a weekend, begin your trip on a Tuesday or Wednesday, which are often the cheapest days to fly. Being flexible with timing can help with savings.” – Gillian Tans

282. “The ability to seek out lightness is an essential tool for living a positive life.” – Cyndie Spiegel

283. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

284. “If this depression stays with us, the loser Tuesday is going to be the winner.” — Will Rogers

285. “Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?” – John Barrymore

286. “You may have heard of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. There’s another day you might want to know about: Giving Tuesday. The idea is pretty straightforward. On the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, shoppers take a break from their gift-buying and donate what they can to charity.” – Bill Gates

287. “Happiness and Monday don’t go well together, but a happy Tuesday is a possible dream. It is up to us to decide how we want to spend our days, that is why a happy Tuesday means a happy life. When we can find happiness in a working day, it means we are happy about what we do and where we are.”- Unknown

288. “Tuesdays are not so difficult to handle as Mondays, but when Tuesday comes after a holiday or a celebration, the burden to go through the day is crushing. There is nothing worse than going to work while having fresh in our minds the memories of the wild fun we had just hours before.”- Unknown

289. “It’s TUESDAY! And since it's CHOOSEDAY: choose to smile, choose to be happy, choose to love, choose to bless, choose to be a blessing, choose to be humble, choose to be patient, choose to be kind… And above all Choose God to guide your life. HAPPY TUESDAY!” – Unknown

290. “Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.” – Stephen Colbert

291. Do not hold to what you have. It is like a ferry boat for people who want to get across waters. Once you have got across, never bear it on your back. You should head forward. Bruce Lee

292. “It is Taco Tuesday. I don’t have any tacos. That makes me sad inside.”

293. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

294. “I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age – which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.” – Noel Coward

295. “Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.” – Julie Andrews

296. Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman… or a bad woman.

297. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

298. “Let Tuesday tarnish your day with love and smiles. Happy Tuesday.” – Anthony T. Hincks

299. Sickos don’t scare me. At least they’re committed.

300. I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.

301. “Funny but true words for your Tuesday: Before you open your mouth, think are you complaining or are you being positive.” - Unknown

302. “The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.” —J.M. Barrie

303. Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most"

304. The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

305. I’m one of the few people in Hollywood who actually had a good childhood.

306. “Good Morning, It’s Tuesday! Congratulations! You somehow survived Monday.” — Invajy

307. A fool and his money never should have got together in the first place.

308. God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.

309. “Tuesday is a good day, you survived Monday. And tomorrow is Wednesday, half way through your work week!” — Kate Summers

310. “You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count.” —A. A. Milne

311. “One small, positive thought in the morning can change your whole day. Have an amazing Tuesday!” - Unknown

312. Laughter is subjective. What’s funny is whatever makes you laugh. No questions, no arguments. If it makes you laugh, it’s funny . . . to you. Steven Kaplan, The Hidden Tools of Comedy

313. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

314. A funny thing happens when we start keeping promises to ourselves - we become unstoppable. Ken Fite, The Dash

315. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

316. “Every day is a gift and proof that your purpose in life has not yet been fulfilled.” – Anonymous

317. “It’s coffee and I need some Tuesday. Oh wait, no. It’s Tuesday and I need some coffee.”- Unknown

318. Get updates on the latest posts and more from Everyday Power straight to your inbox.

319. “No matter what your Tuesday is, don’t worry because Friday is on its way.” - Unknown

320. “Happy Tuesday! We are responsible for peace and order in our lives! When your world is CONSTANTLY filled with chaos, then it’s time to take a look at SELF!” – Tracey Edmonds

321. A bore is a person who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it. Henry Ford

322. “Why does winter feel like one big Tuesday?” – Todd Stocker

323. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.

324. New Year's resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy

325. The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.

326. “Don’t just dream it be it, because anything is possible. Happy Tuesday.”- Unknown

327. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.” - Unknown

328. “Live every day like it’s Taco Tuesday.” – Unknown

329. “If we make the mistake of being negative, discouraged, grumpy, or sour, we’ve wasted the day.” – Joel Osteen

330. “It was far too absurd to die of a Tuesday.” ― Jamie O’Neill

331. “Happy Tuesday. Stay positive. Saying ‘YES’ to HAPPINESS leaves no room for STRESS!” – Unknown

332. Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

333. “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

334. “Tuesday’s are really just Monday’s dressed in their Sunday best.” – Unknown

335. “Among people who really hate Monday, Tuesday seems like a worse version of Monday, because any excuse to not work is no longer valid. Maybe it’s true that nobody likes Tuesday, but it is our fault if we don’t want to enjoy it. Tuesday is just a day and it is up to us how we spend it.” - Unknown

336. “If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.” – Richard Bach

337. “A Tuesday after a three-day weekend is like a double-whammy Monday!” - Unknown

338. “Did someone order a bright and sunny day? Well…here it is. Happy Tuesday!” – Anthony T. Hincks

339. The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.

340. You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count. - A. A. Milne

341. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.

342. “When all else fails, there’s always delusion.” – Conan O’Brien

343. “Every single day, you’ll face outside influences telling you why it won’t work & you don’t deserve it. Keep going.” – Anonymous

344. “Tuesday means we’re a day closer to a weekend spent dreading Monday.” – Anonymous

345. Related: These 50 Best Decluttering Tips Will Help You Get Organized at Last!

346. “Tuesday: The day after Monday that reminds you that you still have four more days of not trying to slap a fellow co-worker.”- Unknown

347. “Three horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday 2. Tomorrow is not Friday 3. Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.” – Unknown

348. “Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” – Henry David Thoreau

349. I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

350. I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

351. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

352. “How are you seeing your world this Tuesday? Do you see the beauty in it?” - Unknown

353. Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.

354. “Tuesday nights are sushi nights, so we go out then.” – Al Rocker

355. Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Every day is a new beginning. - Unknown

356. “Since Monday seems like the longest day of the week, when we realize that it is Tuesday, we have the pleasant surprise to realize that Monday is finally gone. At the same time, we are saddened that it is only Tuesday and that there is still a lot of time to pass until the liberating Friday.”- Unknown

357. Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.

358. To be taught to read -what is the use of that, if you know not whether what you read is false or true? John Ruskin

359. “I do not care about happiness simply because I believe that joy is something worth fighting for.” – Criss Jami

360. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

361. “Courage means to keep making forward progress while you still feel afraid.” – Joyce Meyer

362. “A Tuesday after a three day weekend is like a double-whammy Monday!” – Unknown

363. “Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – Lolly Daskal

364. I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.

365. Years ago there was belief that the world was flat. People were born into that belief and they took it on faith that if they went too far from the shoreline in a boat they would fall off the earth. Columbus sailed on. Les Brown

366. “What’s another word for Thesaurus?” – Steven Wright

367. Happiness - Is There A Common Definition

368. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

369. Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

370. “Tuesdays are better with tacos.”

371. is an empty desk a sign? Albert Einstein

372. Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is not obsessed with being right? Wayne Dyer

373. Visualize something totally funny or crazy! This will instantly change how you feel because you can't visualize two things at the same time. Mark Snyder, Developing Good Habits

374. Words of Encouragement for Kids

375. “Tuesday is a huge day.” – Ian Mcdougal

376. It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

377. Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.

378. You cannot be anything if you want to be everything. Solomon Schechter

379. “I never had an official job, but I did play at a local cantina every Tuesday night, and I babysat a lot.” ― Michelle Branch

380. “Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” —George Herbert

381. A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.

382. “Creativity is a highfalutin word for the work I have to do between now and Tuesday.” – Ray Kroc

383. “Man maintains his balance, poise, and sense of security only as he is moving forward.” – Maxwell Maltz

384. We humans are a silly bunch. We spend half our time trying to fit in with the crowd and the other half trying to stand out from it. Nick Vujicic

385. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

386. It is difficult, but not impossible, to conduct strictly honest business. Mahatma Gandhi

387. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. Bill Gates

388. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.

389. “Work hard for you and your own goals. Progress will come.”- Anonymous

390. Before you marry a person, you should at least make them use a computer with a slow internet connection to find out who they really are.

391. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

392. I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me.

393. Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

394. When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.

395. “Excited about Black Friday. Also excited about Jew Tuesday.” ― Albert Brooks

396. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.

397. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

398. “You’re only as good as your last haircut.” – Fran Leibowitz

399. “No one is more powerful than Self. Why give your power to others when it’s for you to keep & thrive?” – Roxana M Jones

400. A funny thing happens when we start keeping promises to ourselves - we become unstoppable.

401. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.

402. Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers

403. This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.

404. “Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you.” – Les Brown

405. It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the dog’s owner – and the distance you are from your car.

406. “Life is a daily education -make it a point to know more when you go to bed than you did when you wake up, every day!” – Anonymous

407. The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.

408. “There was a time… when people didn’t go out of their house on Tuesday night at eight o’clock because Milton Berle was on.” ― Ed McMahon

409. “Press forward. Do not stop, do not linger in your journey, but strive for the mark set before you.” —George Whitefield

410. Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

411. If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

412. You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.

413. Life is a hurdle race, the winner has to cross all the hurdles and still maintain enthusiasm. M.K. Soni

414. Chasing success is like trying to squeeze a handful of water. The tighter you squeeze, the less water you get. When you chase it, your life becomes the chase, and you become a victim of always wanting more. Wayne W. Dyer, Everyday Wisdom For Success

415. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope

416. “Every champion was once a contender that refused to give up.” – Rocky Balboa

417. “On Tuesday, when it hails and snows/ the feeling on me grows and grows/ that hardly anybody knows/ if those are these or these are those.” – A. A. Milne

418. Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

419. “Tuesday means we’re a day closer to a weekend spent dreading Monday.” – Unknown

420. “Hold onto positive things that elevate your spirit and be with positive people. Happy Tuesday.” – Tracey Edmonds

421. A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.

422. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. Woody Allen

423. Michelle Pfeiffer, Batman Returns

424. If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room. Confucius

425. “In my first 100 days, I will make Taco Tuesday the law.” – George Lopez

426. “Keep grinding! Stay persistent! One day you gonna wake up and be exactly where you dreamed you would be.” – Eric Thomas

427. A day without laughter is a day wasted.

428. “Tuesday brings meaning to my week.” ― Anthony T. Hincks

429. “I think it’s interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.” – Demetri Martin

430. “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” – Maya Angelou

431. “Tuesday’s child is full of grace.” – Anonymous

432. “No matter how good you might be in a movie, you’ll never be any better. But in a play, I can be better next Tuesday. That’s the thrill of it.” — Kevin Spacey

433. If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

434. Related: We Don't Know About You, but We're Feeling These 32 Best Gifts for Taylor Swift Fans

435. Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.

436. “You may find Tuesday harder than Mondays, however, let it be a day full of smiles and laughter!” - Unknown

437. “It is easy to hate Tuesdays, but actually, Tuesdays are friendlier than Mondays. Tuesday can be quite fun once we accept that the weekend is gone and that we need to start giving our best again. Tuesday is a working day, but work can also be exciting.”- Unknown

438. “A fresh start, a clean slate, and a lot of potential for great things to come. That is what Tuesdays really are.” – Anonymous

439. Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.

440. I don't want to be a genius - I have enough problems just trying to be a man. Albert Camus

441. People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages. Benjamin Franklin

442. “There is a breed of Tuesday in January in which time creeps and no light comes and the air is full of water and nobody really loves anybody.”- Zadie Smith

443. My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.

444. Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway. Mary Kay

445. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

446. “Happy Tuesday! And since it’s Choose Day: Choose to smile, choose to be happy, choose to love, choose to bless, choose to be a blessing, choose to be humble, choose to be patient, choose to be kind and above all, choose God to guide your life.” – Unknown

447. Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil.

448. The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

449. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams

450. It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them. Rose MacAulay

451. “Today is Thoughtful Tuesday. Try doing something nice for someone else whether it is a kind gesture or a positive remark.” – Anonymous

452. Cause your facial expression to change - smile. Catherine Pulsifer

453. “Keep grinding! Stay persistent! One day you’re gonna wake up and be exactly where you dreamed you would be.” — Eric Thomas

454. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

455. “Let your courage inspire the world around you.” – Steve Maraboli

456. “I’m trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.” – Larry David

457. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

458. Photography without seeing would be like eating without tasting. David McKay, Photography Demystified

459. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

460. He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything – that clearly points to a political career.

461. The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine. Ralph Waldo Emerson

462. Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from his neck saying, Make Me Feel Important! Never forget this when working with people. Mary Kay Ash

463. Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. William James

464. Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

465. “Start your day with these words: today is going to be a good Tuesday! And this morning is going to be an awesome one.”- Unknown

466. “Tuesday just called and wants to know what happened to Friday!”- Neil Leckman

467. I live about four muggings from Central Park.

468. “Appreciate all you have this Tuesday and you will find you may have a great day!” - Unknown

469. “On this beautiful Tuesday choose peace, choose love, and choose acceptance.”- Unknown

470. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

471. “Tuesday is the day that brings happiness to life.” ― Anthony T. Hincks

472. “A lack of focus leads to a lack of progress. Focus. Grind. Grow.”-Anonymous

473. “Give the gift of confidence to yourself this Tuesday. Believe in your abilities and skills!”- Unknown

474. “You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.” – George Lorimer

475. “Addiction – when you can give up something any time, as long as it’s next Tuesday.” – Nikki Sixx

476. “Tuesday’s child is full of grace.” – Unknown

477. “Failure Will Never Overtake Me If My Determination To Succeed Is Strong Enough.” – Og Mandino

478. I don't think God put you on this earth just to make millions of dollars and ignore everything else. Chris Amundsen Helping Others

479. Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. That’s cleaning day. - Jim Miller

480. “Tuesday: I can’t even see the weekend from here.” – Unknown

481. “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” – Oscar Wilde

482. “ People who say “good morning” should be forced to prove it. Happy Tuesday!”- Unknown

483. Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. Will Rogers

484. It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

485. “Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Every day is a new beginning.” – Anonymous

486. There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

487. “Everyone knows about Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Now help me spread the word about Giving Tuesday!” ― Bill Gates

488. People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election. Otto von Bismarck

489. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.

490. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” – George Carlin

491. Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours. Doug Larsen

492. “You can write the best column in the world on Monday, and it does you absolutely no good on Tuesday.” – Lewis Grizzard

493. I am too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated. - Unknown

494. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me?” —Ayn Rand

495. “Ric Flair, you put me in this position. You named me the Legend Killer and after Tuesday, you will respect me.” ― Randy Orton

496. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

497. “Tuesdays are really just Mondays dressed in their Sunday best.”- Unknown

498. We are all here on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.

499. To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! Edgar Allan Poe

500. “Writing is?waiting for the word that may not be there until next Tuesday.” ― Richard Wilbur

501. Procrastination is an art form that is less desirable than painting a detailed landscape using a three inch wide brush. Byron Pulsifer

502. They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

503. I am only human, although I regret it.

504. “Tuesday morning is a time to reflect upon what to include in your team meetings; it is your time to deliver words of passion that speak to the dazzling new roads ahead where each person is accountable for their own actions and behaviors; where each day represents a fresh start to be a positive influence; and, where self is expressed as unselfishness with each person you meet.” – Byron Pulsifer

505. Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.

506. Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV.

507. “Today is not just Tuesday, it is Transformation Tuesday. That means that success does not just come to you, you have to go out and get it. So what are you waiting for?” – Anonymous

508. “On this Tuesday, remember that an attitude is contagious so remember to have a good one.”- Unknown

509. A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers

510. f you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

511. I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

512. “Monday always passes and there will always be a Tuesday with a beautiful blue sky with few clouds.” – Unknown

513. Middle age is when you can still do everything you used to do - but you decide you'll do it tomorrow. Dr. Tom Haggai

514. You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Rabindranath Tagore

515. They are ill discoverers that think there is no land when they see nothing but sea. Francis Bacon

516. “Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.” – Plato

517. Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.

518. Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.

519. “Someone pays me a hundred bucks every Tuesday to DJ. I don’t think I’ll ever give that up.” ― Shannyn Sossamon

520. “Take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go.” – Christian Larson

521. “Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.” – Frank Zappa

522. “Don't hold grudges, they will ruin your Tuesday. Forgiving helps you more than it helps others. Have a good Tuesday, forgive!” - Unknown

523. “You can’t fix stupid.” – Ron White

524. It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.

525. If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

526. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

527. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

528. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

529. You can't shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond! Eric Thomas

530. My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

531. After Tuesday, even the calendar goes W - T - F. - Unknown

532. A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. Charles Gordy

533. “The days were heavy and sticky. All identical, one the same as the other. Soon they would even get rid of their one remaining distinction, the shell of their names: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday.” – Ismail Kadaré

534. Our minds are like monkeys, swinging from one thought to another

535. Ahhhhh Tuesday. The day to remember all the things I didn't get done on Monday- and push them off until Wednesday. - Unknown

536. “Why does winter feel like one big Tuesday?” — Todd Stocker

537. “When we have a lot of work on our minds, all days feel the same. Either it’s Monday or Tuesday, we don’t feel anything different. We are only aware that time passes too quickly, without leaving us the chance to accomplish everything we want.”- Unknown

538. Tuesday is a huge day. - Ian Mcdougal

539. “There is a breed of Tuesday in January in which time creeps and no light comes and the air is full of water and nobody really loves anybody.” — Zadie Smith

540. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

541. By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

542. “It’s understandable that Monday is a burden in our lives, but when Tuesday becomes a burden too, we need to pay more attention to our lives and start to reconsider some of our choices. When we are tired of working on Tuesday, it is clear that work no longer excites us and that it is best to seek better opportunities.” - Unknown

543. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

544. I am not funny. My writers were funny. My direction was funny. The situations were funny. But I am not funny. I am not funny. What I am is brave. Lucille Ball

545. “Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” –Winston Churchill

546. “Tuesday is the new Monday.” – Unknown

547. Once you give up integrity, the rest is a piece of cake.

548. “Talent means nothing, while experience, acquired in humility and with hard work, means everything.” – Patrick Suskind

549. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

550. Americans are incredibly impatient. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk.

551. “Three horrible facts about Tuesday: 1. Today is not Friday 2. Tomorrow is not Friday 3. Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.”- Unknown

552. Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

553. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.

554. “Happy Tuesday. Don’t worry Friday is coming.” – Unknown

555. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn

556. Happy Tuesday! Having even one, small positive thought can change the rest of your day for the better. - Unknown

557. Tuesday: I can't even see the weekend from here. - Unknown

558. “Tuesday is a great day for deadlines because it is the day when people realize that, after a long weekend and a boring Monday, they really must get back to work and do something productive. A deadline on Tuesday reminds us of our responsibilities.”- Unknown

559. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

560. “Tuesday had always been our day together. Most of my courses with Morrie were on Tuesdays, he had office hours on Tuesdays, and when I wrote my senior thesis. It was on Tuesdays that we sat together. We're Tuesday people.” —Mitch Albom

561. “Have an awesome Tuesday! Be happy and enjoy this day.” - Unknown

562. Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I will give you someone who will make history. Give me someone without a goal, and I will give you a stock clerk J.C. Penny

563. When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

564. Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

565. All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

566. “Dear Tuesday, Nobody likes you. You’re just Monday’s ugly cousin.” – Unknown

567. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

568. There are three ways in life to become popular: be rich, be beautiful, or be funny. Jon Macks, How to Be Funny

569. “It is hard to convince ourselves that Tuesday is an exciting day, but at least we can admit that Tuesday is closer to freedom than Monday. After a pessimistic Monday, we can start working responsibly while making plans for the weekend to come.”- Unknown

570. “The road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same.” – Colin R. Davis

571. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings. Dave Barry

572. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!

573. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

574. It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?

575. Tuesday is just another word for Monday. - Unknown

576. “No matter how good you might be in a movie, you’ll never be any better. But in a play, I can be better next Tuesday. That’s the thrill of it.” – Kevin Spacey

577. I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap

578. “Give the world the best you have and the best will come back to you.” – Madeline Bridges

579. “Let Tuesday tarnish your day with love and smiles. Happy Tuesday.”- Anthony T. Hincks

580. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

581. “If this depression stays with us, the loser Tuesday is going to be the winner.” – Will Rogers

582. “Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Tuesday.” – Unknown

583. Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

584. Money is like manure, of very little use except it be spread.

585. I am having Monday feelings towards Tuesday. - Unknown

586. Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. Oscar Wilde

587. If you want to look thin: hang out with fat people.

588. The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. Bill Copeland

589. “I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.” – Henny Youngman

590. From his neck down a man is worth a couple of dollars a day, from his neck up he is worth anything that his brain can produce. Thomas Edison

591. Remember that sometimes people laugh when something is actually funny, but often they laugh when they lack the imagination to understand the situation. John Barrett, SoS-Life Enhancement

592. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

593. “It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” – Paulo Coelho

594. I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. Gandhi

595. Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

596. Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.

597. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

598. Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.

599. “My feelings of accomplishment leftover from the day before allow my Tuesdays as a testament to my children that each day brings its own rewards for a job well done.” — Byron Pulsifer

600. “On this beautiful Tuesday, choose joy instead of negativity!” - Unknown

601. “Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give some people.

602. Negative people aren’t concentrating their bad energy to be shared with only you. ... Mosquitos aren’t going to bite just you; they are going to go after the easiest available blood. Barb Bailey, How to Detach from Negative People

603. “Good advice for your Tuesday; never lose sight of who you are and of your values. Live them, don't be what you feel other people want you to be, be yourself!”- Unknown

604. “If you want to experience significant progress toward your goal, you need to be intentional about the work you’re doing every day.” – Anonymous

605. “If you love the work you are doing, then you will love Tuesday!” — Catherine Pulsifer

606. “Your best days are not behind you. They’re in front of you.” — Joel Osteen

607. “I’m working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything would be perfect.” ― Doug Sanders

608. “Tuesday: The day after Monday that reminds you that you still have four more days of not trying to slap a fellow co-worker.” – Unknown

609. Nobody provides laughs like comedians. After all, they do it for a living!

610. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.

611. “Happy Tuesday! Keep your circle positive. Speak good words. Think good thoughts. Do good deeds.”- Unknown

612. It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.

613. “Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.” –

614. “If you don’t burn out at the end of each day, you’re a bum.” – George Lois

615. “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” – Yogi Berra

616. Folks die to easy - they sort of fade away;

617. “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

618. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

619. I am having Friday feeling towards Tuesday.- Unknown

620. “On Tuesday, when it hails and snows. The feeling on me grows and grows. That hardly anybody knows. If those are these or these are those.” – A. A. Milne

621. “Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain, but you can’t make a rainbow without a little rain.” – Zion Lee

622. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, thyroid problem?

623. “Be motivated this Tuesday to be your best!” - Unknown

624. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

625. “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.” ― Daniel Handler

626. “The only truly shocking thing about last Tuesday’s election is that the Democrats didn’t do far worse, or as badly as they deserved.” ― Frank Rich

627. “I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday; I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.” – Bill Burr

628. “Today is as good a day as any. In fact, today is a better day than any other precisely because it’s today.” — Richard Beard

629. “It’s TUESDAY! And since its CHOOSEDAY: Choose to Smile Choose to be Happy Choose to Love Choose to Bless Choose to be a Blessing Choose t be Humble Choose o be Patient Choose to be Kind… and above all Choose God to guide your Life. HAPPY TUESDAY!” – Anonymous

630. I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.

631. “Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Every day is a new beginning.” – Unknown

632. “May God continue his blessings for a beautiful Tuesday!”- Unknown

633. Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.

634. “Tuesday isn’t so bad…It’s a sign that I’ve somehow survived Monday.” – Anonymous

635. “Tuesday is the affirmation that my goals are being moved another step forward.” – Byron Pulsifer

636. If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

637. “Schedule your time. People always ask, ‘How do you do it all?’ I’m like a walking calendar. I literally make my snacks on a Sunday if I’m traveling on a Tuesday, and I’ll pack them before I leave.” – Molly Sims

638. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” – George Carlin

639. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

640. Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there’s nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don’t have the money to buy both.

641. “Where would we be without Taco Tuesday?”

642. If I wasn’t a golfer, I would still be miserable – but not as miserable.

643. I don't have a funny bone in my body; now I know why my surgeon's bills are so high. Rory R. Cuphist

644. A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.

645. “Tuesday! Worry less, live more.” – Anonymous

646. “You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count. – A. A. Milne

647. “This Tuesday morning, fill your heart with what’s important.” - Unknown

648. You can't experience simple joys when you're living life with your hair on fire. Emily Ley

649. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. George Carlin

650. “Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground.” – Theodore Roosevelt

651. “Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.” – Vince Lombardi

652. Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

653. Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. Bill Vaughan

654. “We never know what a week from next Tuesday is going to hold. It may be an ordinary day filled with quite regular activities and demands. Most of the time that is exactly what a week from next Tuesday will hold.”- Matthew Rich

655. A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

656. I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

657. Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use. Charles M. Schulz

658. “Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goals: my strength lies solely in my tenacity.” – Louis Pasteur

659. “Dictum on television scripts: We don’t want it good – we want it Tuesday.” ― Denis Norden

660. A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know.

661. how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come. Nicky Gumbel

662. “We aim above the mark to hit the mark.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

663. At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

664. If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.

665. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

666. All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

667. “Tuesday is just another word for Monday.” – Unknown

668. “A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.” – Colin Powell

669. “John Brennan has been the mastermind of the drone program. He’s the one who’d convene the terror Tuesday meetings at the White House.” ― Medea Benjamin

670. All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

671. It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.

672. Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe. Abraham Lincoln

673. “In my time, we didn’t know songs could last. All we ever thought of was next Tuesday. You never imagined a future.” — Donovan

674. To Retirement! It's nice to get out of the rat race, But you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret

675. “Tuesday troubles will vanish by Friday.” — Invajy

676. “One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.” —Michael Korda

677. “Tuesdays are a chance for a new beginning and a new perspective, so make them count.” - Unknown

678. Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.

679. “You’re always working to improve, and you’re always being critiqued on your next performance. It’s not about what you’ve done. There’s always room to grow.” – Misty Copeland

680. “I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.” – Harold Wilson

681. “If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it.” – Olin Miller

682. Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things. Bernard Sahlins

683. “My spirit animal on Tuesdays is a Tacosaurus.”

684. Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.

685. “Good Morning Tuesday! Wishing you a blooming great day!” – Unknown

686. Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twain

687. If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

688. My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

689. “When we feel down, every day is equally depressing and we think that nothing special or wonderful can happen in the future. However, each day is a blank page where we can write anything we want. Even a boring Tuesday can turn into an amazing day, with the right attitude.” - Unknown

690. “Happy Tuesday. Always be kind. Be thoughtful. Be real. Be true. But most of all, be gratefully you.” – Unknown

691. “I am having Monday feelings towards Tuesday.” – Unknown

692. The only bathroom law I’m interested in is one that bans loud sighing.

693. “We each need to fill our minds and hearts with positive and joyful reinforcement each day.” – Kathy Henn

694. “Good Morning Tuesday! Wishing you a blooming great day!”- Unknown

695. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

696. “A little progress every day adds up to big results.” – Satya

697. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

698. “Doing good for others is not a duty. It is a joy, for it increases your own health and happiness. Happy Tuesday.” – Unknown

699. “You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” –Christopher Columbus

700. “It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” – Babe Ruth

701. “Tuesday is Monday’s ugly sister.” - Unknown

702. “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” – Oscar Wilde

703. “Keep calm – it’s Taco Tuesday.”

704. “The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.”

705. “Monday always passes and there will always be a Tuesday with a beautiful blue sky with few clouds.” - Unknown

706. “Tuesday is the most sensible day of the week.” — Emily P. Freeman

707. Lower your expectations of earth. This isn't heaven, so don't expect it to be. Max Lucado

708. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. George Carlin

709. “I love Texans. And Texas is clearly the crown jewel of Super Tuesday.” ― Ted Cruz

710. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

711. “Tuesday is the day I actually start the week, Monday I just deal with the depression of the weekend ending.” – Unknown

712. When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

713. “In queso you were wondering, it’s Taco Tuesday.”

714. “If something is important enough, even if the odds are against you, you should still do it.” – Elon Musk

715. “We often think that we need special celebrations to spoil ourselves. However, what better occasion to spoil ourselves and to inject some enthusiasm into our lives other than a regular Tuesday? It is in these regular moments that we actually need the enforcement of happiness.”- Unknown

716. If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

717. The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

718. “Don’t Let Yesterday Take Up Too Much Of Today.” – Will Rogers

719. “Do what you do so well that they will want to see it again and again and bring their friend.” — Walt Disney

720. Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law.

721. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

722. “Thank God, Monday is gone. Happy Tuesday.” - Unknown

723. A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. Irish Saying

724. “It’s Tuesday! Worry less, live more”- Unknown

725. “The pursuit of peace and progress cannot end in a few years in either victory or defeat. The pursuit of peace and progress, with its trials and its errors, its successes and its setbacks, can never be relaxed and never abandoned.” – Dag Hammarskjold

726. “Happy Tuesday: a day to choose to bless everyone you meet; a day to choose to be kind, considerate and compassionate; a day to be humble by showing how much you put others before your own self; and, a day to celebrate love with your family and friends.” – Byron Pulsifer

727. “Choose to tell your own story. The only way you will tell a better story about your life, is choosing to live your own life to the fullest without being apologetic about it or copying others.” – De philosopher DJ Kyos

728. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. Marty Allen

729. It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen. Brigitte Bardot

730. Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.

731. “Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.” – Will Ferrell

732. Happy Tuesday. Don’t worry Friday is coming. - Unknown

733. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito. Bette Reese

734. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights. Maya Angelou

735. “For many people, Tuesday is one of those days when an air of gloominess seems to pervade everything. However, Tuesday is a good day for both reflection and action. After escaping the carelessness of the weekend, life becomes serious again.”- Unknown

736. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.” – John Wooden

737. “You may only succeed if you desire succeeding; you may only fail if you do not mind failing.” – Philippos

738. If your parents never had children, chances are… neither will you.

739. I drink to make other people more interesting.

740. “If any of you cry at my funeral I’ll never speak to you again.” – Stan Laurel

741. Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV. Thomas Sowell

742. Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless: peacocks and lilies for instance. John Ruskin

743. “It can’t be Sunday every day. There are also Mondays and Tuesdays.” – George Weah

744. My father taught me a good lesson: Don't get to low when things go wrong. And don't get too high when things are good. Robert Perish

745. “No matter what your Tuesday is, don’t worry because Friday is on its way.”- Unknown

746. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

747. What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork

748. Quality is more than important than quantity. One home run is much better than two doubles. Steve Jobs

749. “The Tuesday scowls, the Wednesday growls, the Thursday curses, the Friday howls, the Saturday snores, the Sunday yawns, the Monday morns.” – Samuel Beckett

750. “Once you have commitment, you need the discipline and hard work to get you there.” –

751. “For some people, working a regular job with a strict schedule is overwhelming. Waking up at the same hour and following the same steps daily is a routine that makes all days equal. Either it’s Monday, Tuesday, or Friday, we feel that the days blend in, and that saddens us.” - Unknown

752. Doing nothing is not as easy as it looks. You have to be careful because the idea of doing anything which could easily lead to doing something that could cut into your nothing and that would force me to have to drop everything. Jerry Seinfeld

753. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

754. “I’m a big believer in creating family traditions. Every Tuesday morning, I make a proper eggs breakfast, and we all sit down and eat.” – Ivanka Trump

755. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.

756. He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything - that clearly points to a political career. George Bernard Shaw

757. If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? Albert Einstein

758. A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: ‘Duh.’

759. “Tuesday: A day to ask yourself, how much courage do you have? Are you doing your best work? Are you complaining or are you finding solutions? Are you living your dreams?” - Unknown

760. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.

761. Rodney Dangerfield, Back to School

762. Talkers are usually more articulate than doers, since talk is their specialty. Thomas Sowell

763. “Tuesday is the affirmation that my goals are being moved another step forward.”- Unknown

764. If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

765. “Tuesday night at the Bible study we lift our hands and pray over your body, but nothing ever happens.” ― Sufjan Stevens

766. “Thinking about happy times on a Tuesday is like going to the beach when there is no sun.” – Alain Bremond-Torrent

767. When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’

768. Everyone with telekinetic powers, raise my hand.

769. “Wishing you a wonderful Tuesday! Stay loved and blessed.” - Unknown

770. Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.

771. Some people die at twenty-five and aren't buried until they are seventy-five. Benjamin Franklin

772. An occasional coffee drinker: I only really like it because it gives me an excuse to eat dessert. Sebastien; Racineux; Chung-Leng Tran, Coffee Isn't Rocket Science

773. Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, 'The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind'. Donald Rumsfeld

774. Any pizza can be a personal pizza if you have the right attitude.

775. “Live every day like it’s Taco Tuesday.”

776. “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” –

777. like monkeys on a tree. Debeena Harris

778. The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at

779. “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” – Napoleon Hill

780. “Tuesday's child is full of grace.”- Unknown

781. If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself. Irish Proverb

782. The mind is like a clock that is constantly running down. It has to be wound up daily with good thoughts. Fulton J. Sheen

783. Water's like me. It's lazy. Boy, it always looks for the easiest way to do things. Bob Ross

784. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

785. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

786. Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

787. See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly. George Harris

788. The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth.

789. “Tuesday is a good day to reflect on the types of thoughts you are feeding your mind each day!” - Unknown

790. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday

791. Life is hard. After all, it kills you.

792. “Ahhhhh Tuesday. The day to remember all the things I didn’t get done on Monday- and push them off until Wednesday.” – Unknown

793. A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

794. If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won't come up with a hand full of mud either. Leo Burnett

795. Spring is the time of year when it is summer in the sun and

796. “Dear Tuesday, nobody likes you either. You’re just Monday’s ugly cousin.” —Unknown

797. Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard.

798. An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.

799. “Be unto Tuesday in expectation and commitment as unto Monday when vigorousness abounded.” — Byron Pulsifer

800. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I'm possible! Audrey Hepburn

801. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

802. “Life is about contrasts and changes, that is why every day is different from the others. We can’t have Sunday every day, because it is not sustainable. We need days for work as much as we need days for entertainment. In this balance lies the secret to a happy and meaningful life.”- Unknown

803. If you think you have it tough, read history books.

804. “Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most.” – Ozzy Ozbourne

805. New Year's resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it. Charlie Brooker

806. “Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” —Sam Levenson

807. Our minds are like monkeys, swinging from one thought to another like monkeys on a tree. As a result, we always feel as if a sense of order, balance, awareness and concentration elude us, because we are always doing, always acting. Debeena Harris, Mindfulness: Mindfulness For Beginners

808. “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.” – Steve Jobs

809. Bad habits can be broken, good habits formed. William James

810. Yoga is the fountain of youth. You're only as young as your spine is flexible. Bob Harper

811. amazing you can be. Maya Angelou

812. My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

813. “How would your Tuesday be different if you conducted yourself with complete love and consideration?” — Byron Pulsifer

814. In America, one sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a person’s yard.

815. Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

816. Sixty years ago a gentleman wouldn't go to work without a hat on; ten years ago they stopped wearing ties. Now you don't have to go into work to go to work, so who knows what people are wearing...and who cares?! Shaa Wasmund, Stop Talking, Start Doing

817. You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms to full to embrace the present. Jan Glidewell

818. “The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.” – Vince Lombardi

819. “Tuesday is the day I actually start the week, Monday I just deal with the depression of the weekend ending.” – Anonymous

820. Why was the turkey allowed to join the band?

821. You only need listen to yourselves. It reminds me of an old proverb: 'If and When were planted, and Nothing grew'. Catherine Pulsifer, If and When Were Planted

822. “I want to always keep going. I don’t want to ever stop.” – Nobu Matsuhisa

823. Tuesday's are really just Monday's dressed in their Sunday best. - Unknown

824. Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. Groucho Marx

825. Turning our abilities from stagnate puddles to rushing rivers can happen when we apply ourselves to the task. Warren Philip Gates, Success and the Powerful Introvert

826. “Happy Tuesday! Decide what you want. Believe you can have it. Believe you deserve it and believe it’s possible for you.”- Jack Canfield

827. If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be. Maya Angelou

828. An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. Winston S. Churchill

829. “I find it hard to get out of bed on Tuesday mornings.” - Unknown

830. “Fenugreek, Tuesday’s spice, when the air is green like mosses after rain.” ― Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

831. Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time. Margaret Bonnano

832. Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

833. “Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” – Ellen DeGeneres

834. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.

835. The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come. Nicky Gumbel

836. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.

837. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. Walt Disney

838. Today's opportunities erase yesterday's failures. Gene Brown

839. “If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend six hours sharpening my axe.” – Abraham Lincoln

840. “How would your Tuesday be different if you conducted yourself with complete love and consideration?” - Byron Pulsifer

841. The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

842. Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. Bad habits can be broken, good habits formed. William James

843. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

844. DeBeers should change it’s motto to ‘Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!’

845. “Transformation Tuesday: Success doesn’t come to you, you go to it. Work hard and focus on your dreams!” - Unknown

846. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

847. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

848. Enthusiasm is the leaping lightning, not to be measured by the horse-power of the understanding. Ralph Waldo Emerson

849. If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how

850. Here’s to our wives and girlfriends… may they never meet!

851. As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

852. Don't complain about the snow on your neighbour's roof when your own doorstep is unclean. Confucius

853. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

854. Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. C.E.M. Joad

855. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked! Muhammad Ali

856. A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours

857. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

858. A laugh is a smile that bursts. Mary H. Waldrip

859. “If you don’t like someone’s story, write your own.” – Chinua Achebe

860. Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

861. “The key to a happy Tuesday is forgetting about the broken images of Monday and focusing on a new beginning. Tuesday is, in some ways, a bright and promising day.”- Unknown

862. The moon was full and so close that it seemed we could scoop out some moon ice cream and fill ourselves up on moonbeams. Elif Ekin, Mostly Happy

863. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. Maya Angelou

864. “Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know, like a Tuesday.”- Unknown

865. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

866. Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

867. “There is no point in learning on a Tuesday when on a Thursday it might be completely different.” – Alycia Debnam-Carey

868. “After Tuesday, even the calendar goes W – T – F.” – Unknown

869. It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate.

870. Without a plan of action to put how a dream is envisioned to play out is like pouring out of picture of water on the ground and expecting it to stay in on the surface of the ground. Catherine Pulsifer, Living The Dream

871. It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

872. “Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” – Pablo Picasso

873. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

874. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

875. “We concentrate so much on anniversaries and birthdays that you forget it’s the Tuesday that’s tough that really counts. Sometimes she just needs some flowers or even just that ear. It’s the little things that count. It’s the regular days of the year that you have to keep your attention on her.” – BJ the Chicago Kid

876. “Thinking about happy times on a Tuesday is like going to the beach when there is no sun.” - Alain Bremond-Torrent

877. When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. Franklin Roosevelt

878. These drapes are awful. One of us will have to go.

879. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

880. “Use your words to motivate and lift others, not to hurt and bring down the people you love.” – Cheryl Whitsett

881. The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

882. A smile is a facelift that’s in everyone’s price range!

883. High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.

884. “Why wait until the first Tuesday after Thanksgiving to give? Just give a little every day and help somebody along the way.”- Charmaine J. Forde

885. Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

886. “No matter how successful you are, no matter how good you are at what you do, even if a golden path rolls out in front of your feet your whole life, there will come one particularly bleak Tuesday when you glance over at Facebook and notice that Jen From Down The Hall has just won an Oscar.” – Alexandra Petri

887. Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Paulo Coelho

888. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

889. Because he had the drumsticks! Hayden Fox, The Try Not To Laugh Challenge

890. Have a beautiful day! Take time to enjoy the wonder and beauty of each moment. Happy Tuesday! - Unknown

891. “Caught between Monday and Wednesday, Tuesday holds the unpleasant task of reminding us that we have things to do and that postponing them only makes our life more difficult. Burdening ourselves with too many tasks on Wednesday is not pleasant.” - Unknown

892. “We become what we think about.” –Earl Nightingale

893. “Happy Tuesday. You’re awesome.” – Anonymous

894. “Good morning Tuesday! Please enter and pour out that shower of blessings into our lives, renew our spirits, our strength, our faith, and our hope.”- Unknown

895. The Romans described the hippopotamus as a fire-breathing river horse that sweated blood. Lucy Cooke, The Unexpected Truth About Animals

896. “Make a difference this Tuesday, be an encourager!”- Unknown

897. Happen to things, don't let things happen to you. Stephen Covey

898. War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.

899. “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” —Anne Frank

900. “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” – Rodney Dangerfield