500 Best Funny Ex Quotes: Hilarious And Brutal (2023)
1. “When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’.” ― Drake
2. “We looked at each other, smiled and agreed that maybe I’m too intense. Then we ate our food and I just smirked because I knew it was true.”
3. “I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect.”― Amit Kalantri
4. “I used to be f***ing stupid. But then I dumped him.”
5. Exes be like “remember when we used to…?” Nope. I remember when you fucked up though. Remember that?
6. Sometimes God sends an ex back into your life to see if you’re still stupid.
7. I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
8. “Dear CRAZY ex girlfriends.. please understand that while you are talking shit and not letting go of your past… We laugh at how lame you are.”
9. “Never be upset if you see your ex with someone else, because your parents taught you to give your used toys to the less fortunate.”
10. “If you were happy before you met someone, you can be happy when they’re gone.”
11. “The way My ex used to lie…even when he texts me “Good morning”, I had to go outside to see if its really morning!”
12. At Nightingale Hospital, we would like to wish our current and ex-patients, and those recovering from addiction beyond our network, continued strength in your recovery.
13. “I thought you took my breath away, but I was just suffocated with your BS.”
14. “Its hard to forget your ex in China...”
15. “why don’t you go to Walmart and get a new personality because clearly the one you got from k-mart has expired.
16. Ex, means expired, and an expired one is poisonous.
17. “Fletcher was always going to be your ex-boyfriend, from the moment you met him. He’s just finally caught up with where he’s supposed to be.”
18. “Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa.”
19. “Everyone has that one ex that they don’t claim.” – Nitya Prakash
20. “But I must admit I miss you quite terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.” – Lemony Snicket
21. “La educación -decía el Dr. John G. Hibben, ex presidente de la Universidad de Princeton- es la capacidad para afrontar las situaciones que plantea la vida." Si para cuando el lector haya terminado de leer los tres primeros capítulos de este libro no se encuentra algo mejor equipado para afrontar las situaciones que plantea la vida, consideraré que este libro es un fracaso completo, por cuanto atañe al lector. Porque "el gran objetivo de la educación -dijo Herbert Spencer no es el conocimiento, sino la acción". Y éste es un libro de acción. DALE CARNEGIE 1936”
22. “Is it accidental that so many ex-paratroopers from E company became teachers? Perhaps for some men a period of violence and destruction at one time attracts them to look for something creative as a balance in another part of life. We seem also to have a disproportionate number of builders of houses and other things in the group we see at reunions.”
23. “I know for a fact that he regularly steals from self-checkouts and sticks his gum underneath desks. Those are not the actions of a moral person.”
24. “I had a dream that my boyfriend went back to his ex… I woke up and giggled because you don’t pick up a rock after finding a diamond.” — Starley Ard
25. “Everyone has that one ex that they don’t claim.”
26. “You broke my heart but I’m not going to pick up the pieces. I know that one day, you’ll come and pick them up yourself. I love you.”
27. “My feeling is, if a dog is that hard up to break free, let it go. It’s like a boyfriend who wants to break up. We all know the old adage “If you set someone free, and he never comes back, then he was never yours.” I understand the main fear with setting dogs loose is they could get hit by a car, but so could an ex-boyfriend. That’s just a chance you have to take.”
28. “I know why people write poetry,” Javi says. “Because they’re a bunch of emotional saps with nothin’ better to do than whine about ex-girlfriends and dead dogs.”
29. If someone you love hurts you, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it.
30. “Going back to your ex is like taking back your spit from the ground.” ― M.F. Moonzajer
31. “Sometimes a woman will look back on what she had, not because she wants to go there but to motivate her to do better.”
32. “I mean, aren’t we all tormented by past relationships?”
33. “You can always evaluate a man’s character by the way he speaks about his ex-girlfriends and other women. When entering a new relationship or getting close with a new guy, make sure you take notice of the language he uses when referring to other girls.”
34. “Taking your ex back is like going to a yard sale and buying back your own crap!”
35. “Our ex-wifes always harbor secrets about us that make them irresistible. Until, of course, we remember who we are and what we did and why we are not married anymore.”
36. “You have the right to leave someone, but at least tell them why, cause what’s even more painful than being abandoned, is knowing you’re not worth an explanation.” – Drake
37. “One ends a romantic relationship while remaining a compassionate friend by being kind above all else. By explaining one’s decision to leave the relationship with love and respect and emotional transparency. By being honest without being brutal. By expressing gratitude for what was given. By taking responsibility for mistakes.”
38. “I wish the weekend came as fast as my ex boyfriend!”
39. “I miss him in so many ways, but right now I miss him in the way you always miss someone when you’re single among a room full of couples.” – Emily Griffin
40. That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to ‘single’ and your ex likes it.
41. “How ex are we talking? The kind where you have to take everything that he ever gave you and bury it in the backyard so there will be nothing to remind you of how much you loved him.”
42. “We were on a break!” — Ross Gellar
43. “As soon as your ex sees you smiling, thats the minute they want you back.”
44. “When I say I’m going to forget you I know it’s impossible to forget someone I once knew. What I want is to erase you from my thoughts and purge you from my memories. I’m saying it’s what I wish for, not what is or could ever be.”
45. “My boyfriend isn’t allowed to watch animal planet. He might see his ex on there.
46. “Thank you for teaching me how to love.”
47. “Dear EX,just because I’m nice to you, doesn’t mean I want you back. We broke up for a season.”
48. “Having a date with someone other than your ex-wife after being a married man for more than twenty five years was an important occasion alright, but wearing a tie she bought with such strong emotional value attached to it was a form of cowardice, a subconscious reluctance to let go.”
49. “I felt her absence. It was like waking up one day with no teeth in your mouth. You wouldn’t need to run to the mirror to know they were gone.” – James Dashner
50. “I poured some coffee into a mug that read: “I’m not gay, but my ex-boyfriend is,” compliments of Peyton.”
51. “Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?”
52. “It may seem as the hardest thing in the world, but you have to forget the guy who forgot about you. ” ― The Notebook
53. “I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.” – Coco Chanel
54. “If your ex texts you saying “I miss you’ that means the other person they tried to replace you with failed.”
55. “They’re about a week outside the Hermes system, Captain.”
56. This is my ex looking for someone better than me.
57. “Some people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone, but that does not always mean they are supposed to get it back.” ― Stephan Labossiere
58. “Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to. ” ― Kendrick Cole
59. “If ex-friends have a lot of negative things to say about you when it ends, that means they were storing up these feelings towards you when y’all were still friends. Wolves in sheep’s clothing.”
60. “I couldn’t catch a ball if it had Elmer’s Glue all over it. And my father had to be this ex-football star. He didn’t know what to tell his friends, so he told them all I had Polio. On Father’s Day, I used to limp for him.” — A Chorus Line
61. “Anything disguised as anything is chameleon. A ghost disguised as an unobservable and invisible object is a great example. Still, that’s easier to see than the love my ex-wife had for me.”
62. Sometimes it takes painful situations to make us change our ways.
63. “When you are aligned with the truth of who you truly are, then you experience bliss.”
64. “Yes, he’s my ex. And he’s not a jerk,he’s not a liar and I don’t hate him. He’s a person who once made my life perfect.”
65. “Relationships are like broken glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put the pieces back together”
66. “Don’t feel special, apparently my ex fucks everyone.”
67. “I thought he should have realized sooner that important people don’t show up very often, and you should hold on to them when they do. Maybe I was smarter than he was all along, because that was something I’d always known.”
68. If your ex texts you saying ‘I miss you’ that means the other person they tried to replace you with failed.
69. “I’m in training to be the hottest ex girlfriend you’ve ever had.”
70. “Next time I'll listen to my heart,
71. “Threatening a current or former partner isn’t passion, or love, or heartache. It’s violence, it’s abuse and it’s a crime.”
72. “Oh, you’re the ex? Nice to meet you, I’m the up-grade.”
73. “Drinking coffee with your ex is healthy. It’s good for the soul.”― Leju Thomas
74. “I’d rather have no friends than fake ones.”
75. “Of all the moments in my life, you were always there somewhere. Once as a wish. Once as a blessing. And now as the greatest loss I'll ever experience.”
76. My heart has no room for you, but the trunk of my car definitely does.
77. “I had Luca by myself for a few weeks, no help, when Mike [Comrie, her ex-husband] was on the road, and when he got home I was like, “He’s yours! Bye!’” — Hilary Duff
78. “Dear EX…I won’t block you, or delete you. I’m keeping you there, so you’re able to see how happy I am without you.
79. “An “EX” is called an “ex” because it’s an EXample of what you shouldn’t have again in the future.”
80. “I love meeting my Ex’s new boyfriend and thinking, ‘Yep, I am definitely cooler than this dude.’”
81. “An Ex is like an inflamed appendix. It caused u a lot of pain, n after it was removed, u found out that u didn't need it anyway.”
82. “It is possible for your ex, your boyfriend or girlfriend, or your husband or wife, to no longer be your type.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
83. “Your ex should be your motivation to do better in life. Don’t sit around crying over him/her. Show them that you’re stronger without them in your life.”
84. “Today my professor told me every cell in our entire body is destroyed and replaced every seven years. How comforting it is to know one day I will have a body you will never have touched."
85. “My ex boyfriend,was abusive. He thinks he was mugged and beat up one night after work, but it was actually my two brothers.”
86. Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.
87. “We are all trying to get over the person who broke our hearts. We are all far from perfect.”
88. “Last love lives long lost life.”
89. “Honey, a girl can’t keep a man like that as a friend. He’s a lover or an ex-lover, but never a friend. Men like that weren’t created to be a woman’s friend – they were created to make a woman hit high C three times in a row.”
90. “My ex girlfriend’s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. So I poked her.”
91. We all love someone way to fucking much.
92. “My first memories of police corruption were of numerous police stops being made on my car over a relatively short period of time. It turned out that it was the same police officer each time and he was dating my ex!”
93. “If you’re Happy and you know it thank your ex!”
94. Pro tip: To paraphrase Shakespeare, “To trash the ex, or not to? That is the question.” We suggest not. It’s safer and more encouraging to keep your message positive and focused on your recipient. If you refer to the ex at all, keep it indirect: e.g., “You’re better off” instead of “He’s a garbage person.”
95. “It’s disconcerting to realize how little you have to say to someone who once occupied such a prominent place in your bed.”
96. “In what twisted universe would a girl who’s just been dumped still want to be friends with the boy who dumped her?”
97. “The three of us, working together to save the world. Me, my ex-girlfriend, and the guy she dumped me for. This has to be the most screwed up situation three teenagers have ever found themselves in.”
98. “It's proved no one can keep awesomeness forever, one day it will fade away from your life. As I have from yours.”
99. Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.
100. “When someone loves you, there’s nothing they won’t do for you. When they stop loving you, there’s nothing they will.”
101. “Yes, I made the mistake of falling in love with a man without any feelings. Now it all makes sense.”― Sophie Kinsella
102. When your past calls don’t answer, it has nothing new to say.
103. “Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.”
104. “Trust this: the universe has got your back. No man can mess with you or take advantage of you for as long as you are fully in touch with your sensuality because there is something in you that every man was designed to reverence each time it is detected. You command respect without even trying.”
105. “There will be times when it seems that it would be best to just call him and see how he’s doing. Don’t deceive yourself, you don’t care about how he’s doing, you’re just craving him, don’t do it. You’ll only hurt yourself.”
106. “Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while “decorating” my ex-girlfriend’s front yard.”
107. “Don't take this the wrong way, but I think your brain might be missing.”
108. My Ex texted me: I MISS YOU… So I replied: We’re sorry, the subscriber you are trying to reach doesn’t give a f*ck.
109. “There’s nothing more satisfying than being prettier than your ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend.”
110. “When you delete pictures of your ex off your phone, it feels lighter.” ― Dane Cook
111. “I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect.”
112. “They like their coffee like they like their ex-boyfriends: bitter.”
113. “When I said I hope you’re happy, didn’t mean it / Never thought you’d be so good at moving on / When I’m lying wide awake, you’re probably sleeping / And maybe what I’m thinking is wrong.” ― Adam King Feeney
114. “We didn’t date. But you were my ex-something,my ex-maybe, My ex-almost.”
115. “Amongst all the beautiful women in this world… there’s always an idiot ex-boyfriend, who still expects her love again”
116. “Be the girl his ex girlfriend will hate,his mom will love, and that he will never forget.”
117. “Waiting for you is like waiting for the rain in this drought: useless and disappointing.”
118. “Everybody knows somebody who’s Facebook relationship status should be ‘Still banging my ex.’”
119. “..And now you’ve lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive.”― Keith Urban
120. “Dear Ex…when you see me, I want you to recognize what you had,regret what you’ve lost,and realize what you’re never getting back.”
121. “Hiya, Alex. I missed you tonight."
122. “Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, in order to discover […] that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being.”
123. “When your ex says “You’ll never find anyone like me”,just smile and reply “that’s the point.”.”
124. “You should not propose marriage until you have resolved your feelings about your ex.” ― Amy Dickinson
125. “I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.” — Dane Cook
126. “Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars.” — Author Unknown
127. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard
128. “She was a beautiful woman, fresh-scrubbed and wholesome. Just like his ex-fiancee. A heartless floozy in disguise.”
129. My ex wasn’t an asshole. He was the whole ass.
130. “It is better to lock up your heart with a merciless padlock than to fall in love with someone who doesn’t know what they mean to you.”― Michael Bassey Johnson
131. “Ever looked at your ex and wondered “Was I drunk the entire relationship?””
132. I don’t have Ex’s, I have Y’s. Like “Y the hell did I date you?”
133. “When an ex says, “Let’s be friends”, it is almost like a kidnapper saying, “we’ll stay in touch.””
134. “My ex: *sends me a pic of the two of us* 'I miss you.' Me: 'Who's this?'”
135. “Helm, set a course – best possible speed!”
136. “The day I need a friend like you, I'll just have myself a little squat and s*** one out.”
137. “Friendship requires truth, and there is no truth in her.”
138. “They tell us the only way to move on
139. “Good luck finding someone who will put up with your bulls*** as well as I did.”
140. “Friendship plants itself as a small unobtrusive seed; over time, it grows thick roots that wrap around your heart. When a love affair ends, the tree is torn out quickly, the operation painful but clean. Friendship withers quietly, there is always hope of revival. Only after time has passed do you recognize that it is dead, and you are left, for years afterward, pulling dry brown fibers from your chest.”
141. “If Europe had been blessed with more rulers with the human heart and the traits of honesty of ex-king Edward, for the past century, that unfortunate hemisphere now seething with greed, hate, lust, political connivance, and threats of war, would have a different and a better story to tell. A story in which Love and not Hate would rule. In”
142. “I know my heart will never be the same but I’m telling myself I’ll be okay”
143. “Behind many broken friendships there is a marriage.”
144. “A life-changing moment for me was the realization that sometimes the healthiest relationship you can have with someone (or something) is none at all.”
145. “I love my ex so much I printed out all his pictures. After all, I need him for target practice. And I just love customised toilet paper and doormats. My only regret is that those items don't bear his autograph.”
146. “No, sir – I…” The young helmsman stammered.
147. “One of the best times for figuring out who you are and what you really want out of life? Right after a break-up.”
148. “Does that new man in your life call his ex "a slut", "a whore", "a bitch", "psycho" , "crazy", "a nutter" etc etc. Chances are, whatever he's calling his ex right now, he'll be calling you when things don't go his way. Be warned.”
149. “When your past calls,don’t answer. It has nothing new to say.”
150. My ex boyfriend’s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. So I poked him
151. “I don't write about you because you don't deserve to be immortalised in my words.
152. “Bad enough that getting turned on when he had nothing more than a bath towel to hide it would make the condition kind of hard to miss, but getting turned on in front of his ex-fiancee was akin to smearing honey on his junk and walking into grizzly territory.”
153. “It made him feel like less of a man. And given how much less of a man he’d felt the past several weeks, that was really saying something. He was surprised someone from the Man Club hadn’t come by to revoke his dick and balls.”
154. “Some people are meant to frame your destiny but not reach the destined destination with you.”
155. “I collect ex-boyfriends — and more than five, at last count.” ― Jasper Fforde
156. All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
157. “It is so hot outside I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.”
158. “How can u believe on the word 'believe', when there is a lie in center.”
159. I thought you took my breath away but now I know I was choking from all your sh*t.
160. “This morning, I woke up different. I accepted that life goes on… I might still love you, I might still miss you, but I’m better off without you. So, I’m closing this chapter of hurt because I deserve to be happy. And the only way I’ll reach that is by letting go of toxic people who don’t want to see me grow. Holding on doesn’t make me strong, but letting go does.”
161. “I miss everything about you… I can’t believe that I still want you. After all the things we’ve been through. I miss everything about you.” – Colbie Caillat
162. “You keep waiting for the heaviness to leave you. You keep waiting for the moment you never think about the ex again. It doesn’t come.”
163. Thank God someone threw me away, so you could pick me up and love me.
164. “He assaulted the man with a psychic wave. "You are a cockroach." In his inebraited state, Cody had no resistance at all to a vampire mind control. He fell to the floor and scurried around the foyer on all fours. "I am a cockroach" he muttered in a squeaky voice. "Hmm, about time you figured that one out," Fidelia steped back as he brushed against her long skirt.”
165. “The current girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband is often an utterly unsuccessful attempt to stop missing or loving the previous one.”
166. “But if there was a protocol for how to say goodbye to your newly ex-boyfriend’s brother, right after you kissed him and probably sent your ex into the arms of his willing ex-girlfriend, I didn’t know what it was.”
167. “Having a date with someone other than your ex-wife after being a married man for more than twenty-five years was an important occasion alright, but wearing a tie she bought with such strong emotional value attached to it was a form of cowardice, a subconscious reluctance to let go.”
168. “Blaming the ex for the breakup is like blaming the clothes for not fitting you.”
169. “When your ex asks you to remain friends after you break-up, it’s like a kidnapper asking you to “keep-in-touch” after he releases you.”
170. If you want to get over your ex why play with someone’s feelings to escape
171. “Although we went our separate ways, I spent some of my most memorable moments with you. Thank you for making my life worth living while we were together. I wish you all the best.”
172. “You’re gone and you left me. My heart has dissipated. The only thing I can feel is the blood rushing through my veins and the strings that hold my fragile heart together.” – Karen Quan
173. “When your ex texts you after months “Hey, What’s up”…Not today Satan, not today.”
174. “I don’t want you back, but I would kill for the feeling of meeting you all over again.” – Jessica Katoff
175. “My ex is living proof of how stupid I can be”
176. “Send my love to your new lover / Treat her better / We’ve gotta let go of all of our ghosts / We both know we ain’t kids no more.” ― Adele Adkins
177. If you’re happy and you know it thank your ex!
178. “They always come back, especially when you’ve moved on.”
179. Maybe being friends with your ex isn't the worst possible idea.
180. “I cared,you didn’t,I cried,you laughed. I was hurt,you smiled. I moved on, you realized. Too late.”
181. Yesterday I ran into my ex. Then I pulled into reverse and ran over him again.
182. “Sometimes a woman will look back on what she had, not because she wants to go there but to motivate her to do better.” – Reuben “Mulah Truth” Holmes II
183. “Are you telling her the same shit you told me?”
184. “I would tell you to go f*** yourself but I’m pretty sure you’d be disappointed.”
185. “It was funny how all the useless knowledge you accumulated when you’re in love with someone could sit for years gathering dust in the back of your mind, only to spill out at the slightest reminder.”
186. “I know my heart will never be the same but I’m telling myself I’ll be okay” – Sara Evans
187. “You were fake. I was great. Nothing personal.”
188. “Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man / You made my heart break and that made me who I am.” ― Camille Purcell et al
189. “Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to.” – Kendrick Cole
190. “I'm the best thing that ever happened to you and you will end up alone and wishing you had me back.”
191. “Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed.” — Aristotle
192. “My heart won’t let you go, and I need you to know, I miss you.” – Miley Cyrus
193. “Loving her was as if she invaded my home,
194. “If you’re happy and you know it, thank you ex!”
195. “Today is national animal day. Please take a moment to remember your Ex Boyfriend.”
196. My ex boyfriend was flaunting his new girlfriend and telling me he has moved on. When I looked at her, darling that’s not a move on that’s a setback.
197. “Um – sir, we’re on conversion drive at the moment.” The helmsman reported.
198. My ex had one very annoying habit. Breathing.
199. "Your ex asking you to be friends after break up is like kidnappers asking you to keep in touch after letting you go.”
200. “Rachel Bruin, my ex-best friend. Words climb up my throat. This was the girl who suffered through Brownies with me, who taught me how to swim, who understood about my parents, who didn’t make fun of my bedroom. If there is anyone in the entire galaxy I am dying to tell what really happened, it’s Rachel. My throat burns.”
201. “When we are in love, we are convinced nobody else will do. But as time goes, others do do, and often do do, much much better.”
202. “The good news is your ex set the bar low enough to make your new boyfriend’s ordinary accomplishments seem impressive.”
203. “I love my ex so much I printed out all his pictures. After all, I need him for target practice. And I just love customized toilet paper and doormats. My only regret is that those items don’t bear his autograph.” — Natalya Vorobyova
204. “We broke up the other day but I still haven’t been able to break up with our memories. I think I still love you.”
205. “Dear EX…I won’t block you, or delete you. I’m keeping you there, so you’re able to see how happy I am without you.”
206. “You’re dating my ex? You do realize this means I know how pathetic your’sex life is,right?”
207. “No baby, you didn’t hurt me. You wrecked me. Know the difference.”
208. “Got a long list of ex lovers / They’ll tell you I’m insane / But I’ve got a blank space, baby / And I’ll write your name.” ― Max Martin
209. “Drinking coffee with your ex is healthy. It’s good for the soul.”
210. “I love firm hugs. Statues are so affectionate. Well, at least compared to my ex wife.” — Jarod Kintz
211. “I miss you more than the sun misses the sky at night.” – Taylor Swift
212. “Oftentimes someone leaves their partner who is comparable to the sun for someone else who is comparable to a spark.”
214. “I know, Linson – d’you think I’m senile?”
215. “Oftentimes someone leaves their partner who is comparable to the sun for someone else who is comparable to a spark.” – Mokokoma Mokhonoana
216. “Ex-girlfriends are like car wrecks. You shouldn’t want to know the details, but you do.”
217. “He loved me. He loved me, but he doesn’t love me anymore, and it’s not the end of the world.”
218. “My ex wasn’t an asshole. He was the whole ass.”
219. “Oh, your love was fake? So were my orgasms.”
220. “My boyfriend isn’t allowed to watch animal planet. He might see his ex on there. NAH Boo.”
221. “Ex means thanks for the EXperience, our time has Expired, now Exit my life.”
222. “She was a beautiful woman, fresh-scrubbed and wholesome. Just like his ex-fiancee. A heartless floozy in disguise.” ― Peggy Webb
223. “I couldn’t help but notice that I’m much better looking than all of your ex-girlfriends.”
224. “Peace is a fulltime job. It’s protecting civilians, overseeing elections, and disarming ex-combatants. Peace, like war, must be waged.”
225. “Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?”
226. “You’re my favorite ex-boyfriend.”
227. “Love doesn’t leave you. Not all at once. It creeps back in, making you think it can be another way, that it can still be another way, and you have to remind yourself of the reasons that it probably won’t be.” – Laura Dave
228. Ever looked at your ex and wondered “Was I drunk the entire relationship?”
229. “All I’m saying is I’ve never seen my ex and satan in the same room.”
230. “How will it help to tell you that I see his face every time I close my eyes? That I wake up and cry when he’s not there? That the memories are so strong I can’t separate hers from mine anymore?”
231. “Realizing that many you once thought the world of are nothing but glorified assholes means you’ve grown up.” – Crystal Woods
232. When your ex says “You’ll never find someone like me”. Reply with “That’s the point”.
233. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…”
234. “I’ve come to see “Bitches be crazy” as less a statement by men that women are crazy or even a reappropriated statement by women defending their own madness. Instead, I see the phrase and imagine a colon after “bitches,” rendering it a command to other women, a battle cry. It is a way of saying, “We took back ‘bitch’ already. And now we have come for ‘crazy.”
235. “No one is really busy. It all depends on what number you are on their priority list.”
236. “Things You Shouldn’t Say on a Date: 8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…” ― Gena Showalter
237. “When an Ex-Girlfriend says, “Let’s be friends”, it is almost like a kidnapper saying, “we’ll stay in touch.””
238. “It hurts the worst when the person that made you feel so special yesterday, makes you feel so unwanted today.”
239. “My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.”
240. “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”
241. “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
242. “Some people each left their spouse or lover because he or she was no longer the primary source of their happiness; some, because their spouse or lover was, at that time, the primary source of their unhappiness.”
243. “It’s crazy how you can go months or years without talking to someone but they still cross your mind every day.” – Anurag Prakash Ray
244. “I’m not really a b****. I just play one in your life.”
245. “I thought I still loved you but then I realized I just love the memories of who you used to be.” – Morgan Hanthom
246. “Discussions of entrepreneurship tend to focus on the personalities and attitudes of top management people, and especially of the chief executive. 4 Of course, any top management can damage and stifle entrepreneurship within its company. It’s easy enough. All it takes is to say ‘No’ to every new idea and to keep on saying it for a few years – and then make sure that those who came up with the new ideas never get a reward or a promotion and become ex-employees fairly swiftly. It is far less certain, however, that top management personalities and attitudes can by themselves – without the proper policies and practices – create an entrepreneurial business, which is what most of the books on entrepreneurship assert, at least by implication. In the few short-lived cases I know of, the companies were built and still run by the founder. Even then, when it gets to be successful the company soon ceases to be entrepreneurial unless it adopts the policies and practices of entrepreneurial management. The reason why top management personalities and attitudes do not suffice in any but the very young or very small business is, of course, that even a medium-sized enterprise is a pretty large organization. It requires a good many people who know what they are supposed to do, want to do it, are motivated towards doing it, and are supplied with both the tools and continuous reaffirmation. Otherwise there is only lip service; entrepreneurship soon becomes confined to the CEO’s speeches.”
247. Me, jealous of you? Bless your delusional heart.
248. “Loving you was like going to war; I never came back the same.” – Warsan Shire
249. “He will be sorry for the way he treated you, don’t you worry about that. Focus on your growth and watch his eyes gaze in sorrow as he knows, he was the bastard that made you strong.”
250. “If it looks like a dick and acts like a dick, it’s probably my ex-boyfriend.”
251. “Just the way it never rains when you have an umbrella, you’ll never run into people if you look fantastic. But go outside in pajamas, and you’ll run into every ex you have.”
252. I still can’t see us ever being friends.
253. “Dear EX…I won't block you, or delete you. I'm keeping you there, so you're able to see how happy I am without you.”
254. “Some people are very happy despite their ex’s absence; some, because of it.”― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
255. “Irregardless, ex boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean, that’s just the rules of feminism. ” ― Mean Girls
256. “EX means: Thanks for the Experience…our time has EXpired…Now EXit my life.”
257. If you were happy before you met someone, you can be happy when they’re gone.
258. “Aren’t we all tormented by past relationships?”
259. “Finally I see that it’s never been me, just a blanket that keeps you warm. Easily tossed along when something flashier or someone prettier comes along. Your heart I held so carefully, I see, this was all just a game.”
260. “It’s disconcerting to realize how little you have to say to someone who once occupied such a prominent place in your bed.” ― Sue Grafton
261. “By licking his neck?”
262. “It’s probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he’s absolutely lethal.”
263. “Yeah, sure, I can do a passionate play with my ex-lover, who broke my heart not once, but twice. No problem. I bang my head against the wall. If there were a Nation of Stupid People, I would be their queen.”
264. “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours, If it doesn’t fuck him, he was a dick anyway.”
265. “When looking back doesn’t interest you anymore,you’re doing something right.”
266. “Friendships cause heartbreaks too.”
267. Oh you’re dating my ex? Cool, I’m eating a sandwich… want those leftovers too?
268. “When your ex asks you to remain friends after you break-up, it’s like a kidnapper asking you to “keep-in-touch” after he releases you.” — Nitya Prakash
269. “Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.”
270. “To save face, it's better not to ask sex from the ex, but to give everything the axe.”
271. “I guess what they say is true/Friends come and go. But I never thought that would apply to you.”
272. “You’re my ex. That means I no longer owe you any answers. Don’t worry about who I’m with now. It’s not you.”
273. “Many a woman was killed by her man whom she stole from his ex.”
274. “Are you telling her the same shit you told me?”
275. “One day your kids will ask you “What is love?” And you will look at your spouse and remember your ex.” — Nitya Prakash
276. “Some people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone, but that does not always mean they are supposed to get it back.”
277. “You're not even worth the calories I burn talking to you.”
278. “You look 100 percent better when I can't see you.”
279. “Interesting.” Falconer commented. “Get me his specs. If I have to take him aboard my ship, I want to know all about him.”
280. “Some people aren’t loyal to you. They are loyal to their needs of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty.”
281. “Him: 'Hey, been a long time. Can I come over? Me: 'I already have some trash in the bin, I don't need more.'”
282. “i wonder where you are right now
283. “What I like best about our relationship is you’re no longer in it.”
284. “Bad, Ali!” Another slap to my arm. “Bad, bad, bad Ali! Have you no self-control?”
285. “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.” – Mae West
286. “I still love all my ex’s, Not romantically,but as people. They once gave me happiness why should I hate them? I wish for nothing but the best for them tbh.”
287. “You’re not ready for your next if you’re still trying to impress your ex.”
288. “Never tell a girl that she looks like or reminds you of your ex girlfriend.”
289. “As his ex-wife, Justine, put it, “He does what he wants, and he is relentless about it. It’s Elon’s world, and the rest of us live in it.”
290. “When things are falling apart, know they are actually falling into place.”
291. “If someone you love hurts you, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it.”
292. “The Howard Hughes thing hadn’t actually sounded like such a bad deal until about...oh, eight thirty-five this morning. Something about having his ex carry him to the bathroom and help him wash his balls just took all the fun out of becoming an eccentric recluse.”
293. “Whatever,bitch. I’m prettier than you, I win.”
294. “Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or -wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex, and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.” ― Delia Ephron
295. “Today is national animal day. Please take a moment to remember your ex.”
296. “Cheers to my ex for finally finding someone just as worthless as he is.”
297. “Everyone has that one ex that they don't claim.”
298. “He was a full Commander, last I heard, sir.”
299. I’m not with stupid anymore.
300. “Yes, you broke my heart, but after seeing how much uglier your new girlfriend is than me, we can call it even.”
301. “World Ex Day is celebrated on 11th January annual.”
302. “Sometimes, I don’t know what haunts me more… the memories of you… or the happy person I used to be.” – Ranata Suzuki
303. “A deceitful man will go as far as to trample all over a woman’s reputation and spirit, in order to prove to his ex-love that he was faithful. The irony is he is still in love with his ex and the new woman in his life doesn’t even realize it.”
304. “The best revenge you can get on your ex is to move on and let them see you happy with someone that treats you better than they did.” – Sonya Parker
305. “You want to know what it feels like to be castrated? Try having your nine-year-old brother protect you from your ex-girlfriend after you’ve told her you’re in love with a man.”
306. “An "ex" is called an "ex" because it's an EXample of what you shouldn't have again in the future.”
307. “Sometimes you miss the memores, not the person.”
308. “When your Ex asks you to remain friends after you break-up, it's like a kidnapper asking you to "keep in-touch" after he releases you.”
309. I think you’re ex-straw special. Pair this saying with a fun, reusable, crazy straw.
310. “Do you get whiplash watching me surpass you in every way?”
311. “It is possible for your ex, your boyfriend or girlfriend, or your husband or wife, to no longer be your type.”
312. “You know for a guy, you act like a little bitch.”
313. “Yes, I’m smiling but you’re not the reason anymore.”
314. “After all, soulmates always end up together. Silly Bethany won’t even be remembered then. Ex-girlfriends are easily forgotten. Best friends stay with you forever.”
315. “I accidentally bumped into my ex today…With my car…at 60mph…on purpose.”
316. “Letting go of your ex is part of a much larger lifelong journey of understanding yourself and making choices consistent with your values.”
317. “One ends a romantic relationship while remaining a compassionate friend by being kind above all else. By explaining one’s decision to leave the relationship with love and respect and emotional transparency. By being honest without being brutal. By expressing gratitude for what was given. By taking responsibility for mistakes and attempting to make amends. By acknowledging that one’s decision has caused another human being to suffer. By suffering because of that. By having the guts to stand by one’s partner even while one is leaving. By talking it all the way through and by listening. By honoring what once was. By bearing witness to the undoing and salvaging what one can. By being a friend, even if an actual friendship is impossible. By having good manners. By considering how one might feel if the tables were turned. By going out of one’s way to minimize hurt and humiliation. By trusting that the most compassionate thing of all is to release those we don’t love hard enough or true enough or big enough or right. By believing we are all worthy of hard, true, big, right love. By remembering while letting go.”
318. “Oh, you’re dating my ex? I thought the five second rule only applies for food I dropped.”
319. “Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone else; and some are dead.”
320. “Fletcher was always going to be your ex-boyfriend, from the moment you met him. He’s just finally caught up with where he’s supposed to be.” — Derek Landy
321. “So we're breaking up, but still can be friends? Tell me more about how our new friendship could work.”
322. “You ex’s prayer might be to see you fail but you need to prove them wrong.”
323. “He will be sorry for the way he treated you,
324. “To save face, it’s better not to ask sex from the ex, but to give everything the axe.” ― Anthony Liccione
325. “I loved you, and / You love me / And I just couldn’t see tomorrow, baby / And I cared for you / And I didn’t see us through / Now I know in my heart you will always be / The greatest x ever.” ― Christopher A. Stewart
326. “There’s nothing like that feeling of waiting for a guy. It’s the loneliest feeling in the world. Holding that cell phone in your hand as you take out the trash, use the bathroom, change the litter box. Fearful that the one second you aren’t looking will be when they call. Pathetic. And something I have done as recently as last week.”
327. “Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else because our parents tought us to give our used toys to the less fortunate.”
328. “Don’t feel bad if you see your ex with someone else. Remember, our parents taught us to give the things we don’t need to the less fortunate.” (Unknown)
329. “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” – Alan Watts
330. “I don’t make mistakes, I date them.”
331. “You're no longer a part of my life, but I wish you the best with yours.”
332. “Did you know when you go it’s the perfect ending / To the bad day I was just beginning / When you go all I know is you’re my favorite mistake.” ― Jeff Trott
333. "I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.”
334. “Never let an old flame burn you twice.”
335. Dear Ex, as easily as I hired you, I had to fire you. You lied and couldn’t meet the requirements of the job. Goodbye.
336. “So for now I say goodbye to this chapter of my life and I look forward to what comes next.” — Brooke Davis
337. “Actually, when you’re doing something you love, even when you’re busy and it’s hectic you don’t feel the need to relax. I never used to take holidays and it would upset ex-wives and girlfriends, but working has me in a better mood than doing nothing.” ~ Al Murray
338. “You keep waiting for the heaviness to leave you. You keep waiting for the moment you never think about the ex again. It doesn’t come.” – Junot Díaz
339. “I don’t think much about guys from the past. I’m glad I knew them, but there’s a reason they didn’t make it into my future.”
340. “Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now / Well, I, I’m all the way up / I swear you’ll never bring me down.” ― Camille Purcell et al
341. “There really are a lot of f***ing fish in the sea. Cheer up. Everyone can be replaced.”
342. “You’re wrong, Javi,” I say. “That’s called country music.”
343. “Ex boyfriends be like: “ Oh she’s getting over me? I better change that and text her.”
344. “I think it’s important to realize you can miss something, but not want it back.” – Paulo Coelho
345. “I miss my ex-boyfriend like how a rich man misses the days when he was poor. He remembers it fondly but he would never want to go back there.”
346. “Somebody asked me if I knew you. A million memories flash through my mind, but I just smiled and said I used to.”
347. “Forget about your ex he wasn’t good enough / Only when he called is when the spot got rough.” ― Cliff Lighty
348. “Ex means, Thank's for the Experience but our time has EXpired, Now EXit in my life!”
349. “I feel like all it takes is one weak, insecure moment in the presence of your ex to convince yourself you made the wrong decision.”
350. “They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don’t think it’s possible for you to miss me as much as I’m missing you right now.” – Edna St. Vincent Millay
351. “Dear ex-boyfriend: Don’t worry I’m not jealous, I already know what kind of shit your downgrade will get already.”
352. “My heart has no room for you, but the trunk of my car definitely does.”
353. “I don’t write about you because you don’t deserve to be immortalized in my words. I’ll leave you to float around in my mind until forgetfulness comes to take you away.”
354. “I’m glad we can be friends.”
355. “We are all trying to get over the person who broke our hearts. We are all far from perfect.” – Alex Rosa
356. Cheers to my ex for finally finding someone just as worthless as he is.
357. “Whatever he’s calling his ex right now, he’ll be calling you when things don’t go his way. Be warned.”
358. When your ex texts you after months “Hey what’s up?” Reply with “Not today Satan, not today.”
359. Never underestimate a man’s ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes.
360. “Taking your ex back is like going to a garage sale and buying back your own crap!”
361. “Don’t get all depressed over a guy from your past, That’s like being sad because the garbage man picked up the trash.”
362. “You can’t swing a cat in Ancient Greece without hitting one of Zeus’s ex-girlfriends.”
363. “If you only knew how to respect my heart, I wouldn't have found a reason to let you go.” ― Jourdane Erasquin
364. “Don’t allow someone not worth it to have the power to occupy your thoughts. If they don’t find you worth the effort or the time, why should you waste yours?”
365. “One day your kids will ask you “What is love?” And you will look at your spouse and remember your ex.”
366. “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.”
367. "My ex send late night text cause she don’t know to let go.” — Drake
368. “Sitting on the sidewalk outside of his workplace like some creepy stalker ex-girlfriend, waiting for him to come out so I can ambush him with love.”
369. “My EX had one very annoying habit. Breathing.”
370. “All we shared was a mattress, and a lie, and an address.”
371. ”Don't regret what once made you smile”
372. “Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to.”
373. “When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.” – Paulo Coelho
374. “Love, the exotic bird,
375. “Some people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone, but that does not always mean they are supposed to get it back.” – Stephan Labossiere
376. “All we shared was a mattress, and a lie, and an address
377. “He counts as an ex because he made me feel dumped even without making me feel loved first.” — David Levithan
378. “In what twisted universe would a girl who’s just been dumped still want to be friends with the boy who dumped her?” ― Susane Colasanti
379. Every girl has that one boy, no matter who they’re with of how long ago she had feelings for him, he will always be the one that when a love song is played, he’ll be in her mind.
380. “Returning to an ex-boyfriend only because one couldn’t be alone or to soothe a broken heart was the worst option.”
381. I don’t care what you think about me, I don’t think about you at all.
382. “Dear ex, someday I will catch myself smiling because my life is better without you.”
383. “Oh, my bad. I’m sorry for bothering you. I forgot I only exist when you need me for something.”
384. “Because I want us to be friends again. I made some really bad choices, and I’m sorry. You’re leaving for Florida and if we don’t fix this now, it won’t be fixed.”
385. “When a friend leaves you, you move on. When a best friend leaves you, part of you is gone”
386. “Things You Shouldn’t Say on a Date:
387. “We are never ever, ever getting back together.” — Taylor Swift
388. I accidentally bumped into my ex today…With my car…at 60mph…on purpose.
389. “I’m sorry, I thought I unsubscribed?”
390. Definition of Ex? Thanks for the EXperience. Our time has EXpired. Now EXit my life.
391. “I ask a lot because I'm very curious – especially about ex-girlfriends. I'm pretty good at getting the answers, too.” — Brittany Murphy
392. “If it looks like a dick and acts like a dick, it’s probably my ex-boyfriend.”
393. “I’m not crying because of you; you’re not worth it, I’m crying because my delusion of who you were was shattered by the truth of who you are.”
394. “When your ex says "you'll never find anyone like me" reply with "that's the point"”
395. “I used to know you the best and now I don’t even remember your name.”
396. “Don’t look now, but that’s my ex over there.”
397. “Love doesn’t leave you. Not all at once. It creeps back in, making you think it can be another way, that it can still be another way, and you have to remind yourself of the reasons that it probably won’t be.”
398. “Jealous much, Matthews? Is it because I’m a favorite, or is it because you still want me?”
399. “My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.”
400. “If you line up all your ex lovers in a row you can see the flowchart of your mental illness.”
401. “Our beer is as cold as your EX’s heart.”
402. “Don’t come back when you realize that I’m rare”
403. “It is so strange, to encounter an ex. It’s as if you’re in a foreign film, and what you’re saying face-to-face has nothing to do with the subtitles flowing beneath you. We are so careful not to touch, although once upon a time, I slept plastered to him in our bed, like lichen on a rock. We are two strangers who know every shameful secret, every hidden freckle, every fatal flaw in each other.”
404. “I hope your new girlfriend learns to hate you as much I do.”
405. You’re my favorite ex-boyfriend.
406. Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate.
407. “I love my ex so much I printed out all his pictures. After all, I need him for target practice. And I just love customized toilet paper and doormats. My only regret is that those items don’t bear his autograph.”
408. “No matter how bad you want a person, if your hearts are in two different places, you’ll have to pass and move on.” – Alexandra Elle
409. “Sometimes the words that we keep in our hearts, no matter how unmistakable, are best left unspoken.” ― Jourdane Erasquin
410. “He counts as an ex because he made me feel dumped even without making me feel loved first.”
411. “Him: 'B****.' Me: 'Ha. I've been called worse.' Him: 'Like?' Me: 'Your girlfriend.'”
412. “I don’t think much about guys from the past. I’m glad I knew them, but there’s a reason they didn’t make it into my future.” – Lorraine Rosenthal
413. “The best revenge you can get on your ex is to move on and let them see you happy with someone that treats you better than they did ” ― Sonya Parker
414. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have five fingers, the middle one’s for you.
415. “Usually, a breakup is caused by, or causes, the revelation of one of the parties’ true colours.”― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
416. “Our lives were now worlds apart, separated by time, circumstance, and the unbridgeable chasm of money.”
417. Sometimes, you miss the memories, not the person.
418. “If someone did something bad enough to make you remove them from your life, don’t be foolish enough to invite them back in.”
419. “Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?” — Bill Maher
420. “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.”
421. “I don’t have Ex’s, I have Y’s. Like “Y the hell did I date you?”
422. “It hurts when one day you wake up and you know you’re missing someone from your past but they are not there for you anymore.” – Norma Marthalia
423. “When someone loves you, there’s nothing they won’t do for you. When they stop loving you, there’s nothing they will.” – Matt Dunn
424. “Relationships are a lot like algebra. Sometimes you look at your ex and wondered why?”
425. “Dear EX,just because I'm nice to you, doesn't mean I want you back. We broke up for a season.”
426. “Ex-boyfriend just egged my car while I was at work… I have a dash cam you idiot,See you in court.”
427. “I had a dream that my boyfriend went back to his ex… I woke up and giggled because you don’t pick up a rock after finding a diamond.”
428. “We linked hands – my ex-boyfriend, my boyfriend, and my former friend-then-enemy-then friend and I – and walked through a door to see if maybe empty carbs were good for something after all.”
429. “Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.” – Mandy Hale
430. “Sadly enough, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained.”
431. I trusted you, but now your words mean nothing to me because your actions spoke the truth.
432. I couldn’t help but noticing that I’m much better looking than all of your ex- girlfriends.
433. “Men who stayed friends with their ex-girlfriends were Feathery Strokers. Especially if they called them their “ex-partner.” — Marian Keyes
434. “Relationships are like glass -sometimes it is better to leave them broken then to hurt yourself trying to put 'em back together.”
435. “No matter how bad you want a person, if your hearts are in two different places, you’ll have to pass and move on.”
436. “I did say ‘best possible speed’, didn’t I?”
437. “My EX? We’re not Friends,We’re not Enemies. We’re just strangers with some memories.”
438. “Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”
439. “In fact, a whole ex-girlfriend themed ghost train sounded genuinely terrifying. You'd get in and instead of a mummy mannequin covered in toilet roll popping out, it's her and you look down and you're wearing a baggy old jumper with a stain on the front. You turn the corner and you find yourself being forced to scroll through her Instagram and there are replies from a girl with tattoos and she looks exactly like the celebrity your ex fancies most. Right at the end, they play a video on a loop that's just screenshots of all the pathetic texts you sent when you were too heartbroken to have any dignity.”
440. “If you can't forget your EX,You will never trust your NEXT.”
441. “There's not a day that goes by, without me thinking of you, dying, in someone else's arms.”
442. “Don’t be the ex that is always stalking. Instead, block them and let karma take charge.”
443. “Gone are the summer days
444. “It’s probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he’s absolutely lethal.” – Charlaine Harris
445. “I’ve written songs about things like burning my ex-boyfriend’s pictures… I’ve written songs about the times that I’ve been hurt by love. But then one day I woke up and realized that I had hurt somebody… And so I wrote this song to tell him I’m sorry”
446. “Drinking coffee with your ex is healthy. It's good for the soul.”
447. “It’s probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he’s absolutely lethal.” ~ Charlaine Harris
448. “I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.” – Dr. Seuss
449. “I just saw her picture on facebook, she looks like something I draw with my left hand.”
450. “How do YOU want to greet him?!”
451. "Blaming the ex for the breakup is like blaming the clothes for not fitting you.”― Khang Kijarro Nguyen
452. “I am a diamond in the rut. A diamond to an untrained eye looks like a rock stone. So men will kick it around on the ground. It takes a man with an expert eye for fine Jewelry to notice its worth.”
453. “But since you been gone / I can breathe for the first time / I’m so movin’ on, yeah, yeah / Thanks to you / Now I get what I want.” ― Lukasz Gottwald
454. “Why are old lovers able to become friends? Two reasons. They never truly loved each other, or they love each other still.” – Whitney Otto
455. “Being friends with your ex shows you two are mature enough to get over the fact that you werent meant to be together.”
456. May you live to be so old that the mere sight of you horrifies young children and ex-lovers.
457. “DR ADACHI SPELL CASTER HELP TO BRING BACK EX LOVER”
458. “What did that stupid deserting crap-bag ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend with the most perfect stupid hair do? He DIDN’T delete his crap off the desktop before he fled my life and left me all alone. That’s what he did.”
459. “Whatever he’s calling his ex right now, he’ll be calling you when things don’t go his way. Be warned.” ― Miya Yamanouchi
460. “What’s their location?”
461. “Never go back to an old love. Because it’s like reading a book over and over again when you already know how it ends…”
462. “Blaming the ex for the breakup is like blaming the clothes for not fitting you.” – Khang Nguyen
463. “Oh you’re dating my ex? Cool, i’m eating a sandwich…want those leftovers too?”
464. “Sitting on the sidewalk outside of his workplace like some creepy stalker ex-girlfriend, waiting for him to come out so I can ambush him with love.” — Cynthia Hand
465. You might know her as your friend, co-worker, ex-lover, or enemy. To me, she's simply my sister, and I love her. Happy birthday!
466. “Don't look now, but that's my ex over there."
467. “I love firm hugs. Statues are so affectionate. Well, at least compared to my ex wife.”
468. “I don’t care what you think about me, I don’t think about you at all.”
469. “If a man, who says he loves you, won’t tell you the details of a private conversation between him and another woman you can be sure he is not protecting your heart. He is protecting himself and the women he has feelings for. Wise women simply see things as they are, not as their low self-esteem allows.”
470. “Threatening a current or former partner isn't passion, or love, or heartache. It's violence, it's abuse and it's a crime.”
471. “I know you not quite well
472. “Crying after a breakup — ain't no one got time for that.”
473. “The way you ended up our relationship caused me a lot of pain, but at least you were honest. I know you change me for other guy, even though I don’t keep grudges. I wish you much happiness and hope you’ve chosen well.”
474. “And I just can’t believe / We went from strangers to lovers to strangers in a lifetime / Now just memories / We’ve gone from strangers to lovers to strangers / Yeah.” ― Charlie Puth
475. “I had Luca by myself for a few weeks, no help, when Mike [Comrie, her ex-husband] was on the road, and when he got home I was like, “He’s yours! Bye!’” — Hilary Duff
476. “Don’t feel special, apparently my ex fucks everyone.”
477. “When your ex asks you to remain friends after you break-up, it’s like a kidnapper asking you to “keep-in-touch” after he releases you.” — Nitya Prakash
478. “Oh you’re dating my ex? Cool, i’m eating a sandwich…want those leftovers too?”
479. “Don’t come back when you realize that I’m rare”
480. “Sometimes, I don’t know what haunts me more… the memories of you… or the happy person I used to be.” – Ranata Suzuki
481. “One of the best times for figuring out who you are and what you really want out of life? Right after a break-up.”
482. “We linked hands – my ex-boyfriend, my boyfriend, and my former friend-then-enemy-then friend and I – and walked through a door to see if maybe empty carbs were good for something after all.”
483. “What I like best about our relationship is you’re no longer in it.”
484. “Sitting on the sidewalk outside of his workplace like some creepy stalker ex-girlfriend, waiting for him to come out so I can ambush him with love.” — Cynthia Hand
485. “One ends a romantic relationship while remaining a compassionate friend by being kind above all else. By explaining one’s decision to leave the relationship with love and respect and emotional transparency. By being honest without being brutal. By expressing gratitude for what was given. By taking responsibility for mistakes.”
486. “World Ex Day is celebrated on 11th January annual.”
487. “And I just can’t believe / We went from strangers to lovers to strangers in a lifetime / Now just memories / We’ve gone from strangers to lovers to strangers / Yeah.” ― Charlie Puth
488. “I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect.”
489. “He counts as an ex because he made me feel dumped even without making me feel loved first.” — David Levithan
490. “Oh, you’re dating my ex? I thought the five second rule only applies for food I dropped.”
491. “After all, soulmates always end up together. Silly Bethany won’t even be remembered then. Ex-girlfriends are easily forgotten. Best friends stay with you forever.”
492. “There will be times when it seems that it would be best to just call him and see how he’s doing. Don’t deceive yourself, you don’t care about how he’s doing, you’re just craving him, don’t do it. You’ll only hurt yourself.”
493. “Yeah, sure, I can do a passionate play with my ex-lover, who broke my heart not once, but twice. No problem. I bang my head against the wall. If there were a Nation of Stupid People, I would be their queen.”
494. “Don’t be the ex that is always stalking. Instead, block them and let karma take charge.”
495. “Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa.”
496. “You have the right to leave someone, but at least tell them why, cause what’s even more painful than being abandoned, is knowing you’re not worth an explanation.” – Drake
497. “My ex is living proof of how stupid I can be”
498. “I still love all my ex’s, Not romantically,but as people. They once gave me happiness why should I hate them? I wish for nothing but the best for them tbh.”
499. “Thank you for teaching me how to love.”
500. This is my ex looking for someone better than me.
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